Not What We Signed Up For: Embracing an Unexpected Path

When Rachel Shapiro’s daughter suffered a severe stroke just before her second birthday, Rachel and her husband were told their child might not survive. Despite the devastating prognosis, they refused to give up, navigating a complex medical journey that transformed their family's life. Their daughter now lives with significant medical needs, requiring a tracheostomy and ventilator support, which initially seemed overwhelming to Rachel.

What makes Rachel's story remarkable is her determination to maintain a full, vibrant life despite the intense caregiving responsibilities. Working full-time in marketing while managing her daughter's complex medical care, she and her husband have intentionally preserved their family's sense of normalcy. They continue to be active in their community, host events, and ensure their other children feel supported and engaged. Rachel's approach is characterized by a deep faith and a belief that their current circumstances serve a greater purpose.

Her perspective on caregiving is both practical and inspirational. Rachel approaches challenges with low expectations and a remarkable ability to adapt, viewing unexpected changes as opportunities rather than obstacles. She emphasizes the importance of open communication with her spouse, maintaining their relationship through shared goals, and making time for self-care, such as occasional shopping trips or simply enjoying a quiet meal. Her story illustrates that while caregiving can be incredibly demanding, it doesn't have to consume or define one's entire existence.

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Learn more about Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver: https://www.confessionsofareluctantcaregiver.com/

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Transcript

Natalie: 0:00

Hey guys, it's your favorite sisters with the Confessions of a reluctant caregiver. Podcast. On the show, you'll hear caregivers confessing the good, the bad and the completely unexpected. You're guaranteed to relate be inspired. Leave with helpful tips and resources and, of course, laugh. Now let's jump right in to today's guest confession. You know, I think you get nervous every time we come on when Andy counts us down. Because I was actually thinking about going, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay.

JJ: 0:36

It is, you know, every all my life, I actually think I've been nervous like, I'm like, What is Natalie going to say? That's exactly what I was thinking, that you were thinking, yeah, because I'm like, I've always been responsible, and I'm always like, what? What is going to come out of her mouth? I just and that's why I never wanted to take, don't tell the story. But what why I never wanted to take classes with you? We were in college. I was like, I will not be associated with was it because I stuck my finger in your potatoes at lunch? That is exactly right, and that is why we are admitting I never wanted to be associated with her.

Natalie: 1:05

I totally did. She she was a senior, and I was a freshman. We're going to take an extra second here, people, I know you're listening for caregiving, but we're going to take this extra second. JJ and I went to school Hollins. It was Hollins college at the time. We'll get past the fact that they switched over to university in a bigger diploma. But it was fine. Still works. And she was a senior, clearly she's older than me, Yeah, clearly worked that right in and I was a freshman, yeah. So even though we're all two years apart, we are three years in school, yeah, and Emily and I are two years in school and age and and so I was JJ, was with all of her friends, and she didn't want let me sit at the senior table? Yeah. And she was like, go away. You're annoying. And I was like, No. And then she got and then she was like, go away. And then her friend, Susan tubes. Susan tubes, if you're listening this podcast, you know that you know the story. And then I leaned over and stuck my finger in your mashed potatoes and ate them.

JJ: 1:58

Oh, my true story. Rachel, kids, you have

Natalie: 2:00

stories, Rachel, instead of understanding your children, you go sister

Unknown: 2:04

a year older than me, and we're 11 months apart. We're Irish twins, and we are completely different. We are night and day. I mean, we look different. We she was more of a tomboy. I was the girly girl, and people would be shocked when they were here. We were sisters, so much so we kind of ignored each other in school, you know, like, wow, you're just sticking your finger in the mashed potato, mashed potatoes. But it was a very small school, and the joke was like, did you even say hi to each other in the hallway? No, I

JJ: 2:31

don't know, absolutely not. I mean, we sure, no, I didn't want to. But yeah, no,

Natalie: 2:36

no, okay, well, okay, Rachel already jumped in, but I want people to know about Rachel? Rachel is the newest sister, yes, and you are going to love this story, because it's super unique. It is a different type of caregiving experience, and I'm excited to have Rachel to share about it. So Jade, let's talk about my

Unknown: 2:53

heart. I'm excited to have Rachel here with us. Okay, keep going. Okay

JJ: 2:58

today, guys, we have with us, Rachel Shapiro and she, she lives in Atlanta, Georgia and Hotlanta with her husband and five kids, right there. She's a saint litter kids. This what she says, we run a busy household, really like you run like a team. I love

Natalie: 3:15

default team. All you need is that serious man, because somebody's going out. She

JJ: 3:19

says they have seen and overcome challenges almost losing a child, and now they're navigating the world of special needs and being the caregiver to a daughter, a miracle that they were told would not survive. Today we are going to unpack here on the show Natalie, grief, loss, what could have been and adjusting to a new norm, and I think that that new norm includes building a really full life around caregiving.

Natalie: 3:47

Oh yes, because care, in this case, started very young, and so I'm not going to give it away, because we're going to let Rachel tell her story, but we are so excited to have you on and I hope you're watching on YouTube, because she's currently in grass that needs to be cut. That is our standing joke. We were laughing about what the background is going to be. So if you are not watching on our YouTube channel, so you can see the video, because Rachel's beautiful, but she's also got blades of grass around her, and that makes me happy. So very fresh, very summery. I'm digging it, Rachel. Thanks for being here.

Unknown: 4:18

No problem. I'm really excited to be here. This is the first time I am sharing my story in a public forum. So some people know it just by being part of our lives, but I have not shared a podcast. I have not, you know, I've shared glimpses, you know, bits and pieces on Facebook and a public forum, but this is, like, the first time it's going live.

Natalie: 4:37

I love it, and you're gonna be wonderful, and I think you're gonna bless so many people. Your story is going to resonate with folks. And this is a different, again, a different type of care. So let's start from the beginning. Let's start give some folks some frame of reference about because you already said you have your Irish twin. You're You're 11 months apart, which I love. We've had some we've had a couple of Irish twins, I know like it's a. Felt like I'm like, I love that phrase too. That's like, I like that too. And so, um, tell us about growing up and get us to where, and you met your husband and all that good stuff. So let's bring this up to speed.

Unknown: 5:13

Okay, great. So, um, I am second to oldest of one of eight children. There's six girls and two boys. Wow, interesting. Because when I see you guys chatting like this, we all get along really well, but you guys have something, you know, pretty unique there. I love that. Oh, we, you know, we have a sisters chat, you know, that we all chat about. So it's fun all the things that we we understand each other in a different way, you know, kind of like you do. But, yeah, I grew up in a busy household. There's 17 years between oldest and youngest. We call it like the older four and the younger four. Oh, I still have, you know, siblings in the home, and they're growing up entirely different than I did, yeah, so that's really fun. We are, you know, connected. Some of us don't all live next to each other, but we try to, try to stay in touch with one another. Now, you're from New York, right? I am from New York. I've tried to hide that, but nine years living down south, people can still pick that up.

Natalie: 6:08

Do not gain the southern accent. Girl, you have just got to say us more more frequent.

Unknown: 6:13

I could try to say y'all a bit more naturally. It used to be y'all, now y'all. But my grandfather is from Augusta, Georgia, so I say like, I do have southern roots. Okay, so, you know, not entirely an outsider here. So, yeah, so grew up in New York, met my husband. We went overseas for a few years, and then moved back to America and decided to plant roots in Atlanta, Georgia. How old?

Natalie: 6:42

Where were you guys when you met? Because I'm like an Interrupting cow for a sec. Yeah, we,

Unknown: 6:48

I think we were about I was 20. He might have been 22 married. Everything was a pretty quick courtship marriage. You know, all that stuff happened pretty quickly. So it was a good choice, though I was dating quite a bit, and, you know, happy where I landed. So we eventually moved down south and planted roots here, which, you know, never thinking as we get to the later part of the story, that we're without family here. You know, living in a beautiful community in Atlanta, Georgia, but at the time, living your family wasn't really a big part of what we were looking for. Yeah, and even now, it's okay, but kind of coming into the story later on, it would be helpful to live in your family. I could see that. Yeah, yes. So we moved to Atlanta, Georgia, nine years ago. We had one child at the time. Actually, I had a two year old, and while we were living abroad, we actually started struggling with prime with secondary infertility, which is kind of the first part of my story. And came to Atlanta, started going through IVF all the treatments, and eventually, two years later, I had identical twin boys. So my two, I have two sisters who have their own set of Irish twins, which has its own set of struggles. You know, you're pregnant while you're having another child. Yep, I have the two twin, the true twins, but in some ways, I think they had it harder, because it's like you're juggling different stages. Yeah, we did everything at once. So thank God I was blessed with there's a four year gap between my oldest son and my identical twin boys. Okay, very grateful. And while we were doing this, we were planting roots, getting really involved in the Atlanta community. My husband's a rabbi, and we were here tasked being in Atlanta, which is building connections with anyone in Atlanta. And it was, it's real. It still is a beautiful community and journey, and we're really grateful for all of that. So that's how it takes us a bit forward when we were ready to kind of have another child. I went back for another IVF transfer, and, you know, thank God, became pregnant with my first baby girl.

Natalie: 8:54

And so you had had all boys to this point. Yes, yeah, so you'd had all boys. Now, let me ask you this, because you're working too Correct? Yes. Okay, so I think that's important, because I'm going to every now and then interrupt you and be like, Yeah, you're working, and tell folks sort of your background on what you do for work, because that's not like, it's easy peasy,

Unknown: 9:13

yeah. So I could sidebar, it's funny, because my husband just ran into someone, and they know I'm really involved in the community work, and they know that I have a special needs child at home. And I just came back from a work trip, and my husband was saying, Oh, my wife is away. They said, doing what? And they're like, he's like, you know, she works full time. And they're like, No, I thought she was a primary caregiver, like as her sole role, which is very understandable, but we'll get into it. What I do now? Why I hold on to my job, and I think as long as I can, I love working in any case. So what I currently do now, I've been in marketing my entire career. I started out in FinTech, and then went into risk management and supply chain tech, and I always wanted to go into healthcare, but it just never happened for me. And then I was recruited by the company I work for now, from. It's a home care technology company, and I run the marketing for them. Yeah. So there's two software software platforms. One is care time, which is a home care agency management platform. We do billing and take care of all the hot Home Care ops. And then ally, which is another similar platform, but for those working in the nurse registry community with 1099 caregivers. So I'm really busy, and I joined that industry. I'll say this bit for later, kind of how it all came together. Yeah, what happens next? But I do work from home, which is a big blessing, but I've, you know, been working all this time,

JJ: 10:36

yeah, so let me actually you decided you wanted that fourth child. You get pregnant with the fourth child, and it's a girl, it's a girl. But Did you always know you wanted a big family? You come from a big family where you're like, yes, you and your husband both, we want 10

Unknown: 10:49

kids. I think on the first day with my husband, he said, like, I want 10 kids, and I'm like, that's fine, but like, can we take it, like, one at a time? And I think you shared this, and he ended up writing a book about our infertility journeys and sharing about that publicly, speaking across the world, actually, in many different forums. So it's just interesting how that came into play. I say, I take it one at a time, but I had twins, so everyone laughs at me. But even till this day, I say, you know, we'll see what happens. I feel very blessed, and we'll see

Natalie: 11:19

I love that. So, so you go and you you get pregnant, and you have your little girl, and let's keep going.

Unknown: 11:29

Yeah, so I had my girl, and there were some complications throughout the pregnancy and while giving birth, but kind of fast forward a year and a half a bit before her second birthday, after meeting most of her milestones, I'm really doing very well. A bit before her second birthday, she seemingly fell. I was sleeping late that day. Came down. She fell. But kids fall all the time. I twin boys again. Remember that, oh yeah, she fell. And was acting weird. Her eyes were doing weird things. She didn't really want to eat, and we put her to bed, and she was just acting weird. A parent knows when something's off, and we actually had a doctor at our home at that time. He's like, you really should take her to the hospital. And we said, yeah, like, we know. So we took her to the hospital, and they did all the scans, all the things, and they said we're treating her for concussion, and at this point, I knew nothing about anything medical, like, you know, you trust doctors. And again, maybe that was the right call at that point. That's okay, but I didn't even have the awareness to ask or pry into different things, because I didn't really know much, right? But they kept her there for two days for a concussion, and actually, thank God I was working, because I remember working at it might have been a Sunday, which is also, I do tend to work a lot, but it might have been like 10 or 11pm at the hospital on a Sunday night or Monday night. I forgot if it was a work day, and I was just really tired. And said, You know what, I'm going to spend the night here. We lived five minutes from the hospital. I said, I could have gone home, but I actually decided to put my laptop. To put my laptop away and sleep on the bed in that room. And in middle of that night, that night, she CO, you know, wasn't breathing well, people ran in. They thought she was having a seizure, and I was watching my child seemingly have a seizure. I didn't know anything. It happened again an hour later, and it was a, I guess, coded in their language. They kicked me out of the room. I had again. Now I know so much more. I've been in hospitals for months, you know? I'll share what that is, but at this time, I'm like, What's going on here? This is what you see in the movie. They're like, get the mother out here. 10 people run into the room and they they don't really know what's going on, because her stats are just dropping. So in retrospect, and what I found out later, you know how they tell people, when you see people, you know, older people having a stroke, they do, like, a weird thing with their mouth and like, Twitch, ache. My daughter was doing that in front of my eyes. I didn't know at the time that it was a stroke. We found out later, but she was stroking. They thought it was a seizure. Again, not blaming anyone. But I didn't even know that. I didn't even know a child could have a stroke at this point, like I knew nothing. So you know, throughout this whole night, we didn't keep our cell phones on back in these days, because life was simple. Life was good. And I tried calling my husband like all the time, he's not answering. I'm panicking, pacing up and down the hallways. And it was really bad. It was really, really bad. We didn't even know what was going on at that point. Just to pause here, you know, I finally got hold of my husband and I said, you know, we, throughout in our life, we've said, like, you know, it's bad. I'm like, you know how all those times you said things were bad, those were really not like now it's really bad, like, come to the hospital immediately. So we found arrangements for my daughter, I mean, for my other children at home, rushed over to the hospital, and we went through our day. They didn't know yet she had her stroke, so much so that my husband was teaching a class at 730 that night, and our doctor calls and says. Get to the hospital now, and we just still didn't know what was going on, like we were going on with seemingly our regular day, like my husband was teaching a class, and we get to the hospital, our close friends meet us there, and they say she had a stroke. It's devastating. Stroke again two days later, two days prior, she was I pictures of her that Friday holding onto a ball in therapy with the biggest smile, and they don't know what happened. Wow. They basically tell us she is not going to make it. And again, for those who who have been through these sort of scenarios, they like to prepare you for the worst, but no one was giving us any glimpse of hope. It was a really, really bad stroke, and they all said like she's going to succumb to her the pressure in her head at some point, like, it just, it's going to happen.

Natalie: 15:45

I'm going to I'm going to take a pause here, because I'm going to hit that. We've hit that little mark, and I want to take a break for just a second, because I think that's the right spot that people have not given you. There's no hope. And I can't even imagine that as parents of a one and a half year old like not understanding so let's take a break right here.

Unknown: 16:05

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JJ: 16:54

All right, everybody, we are back here with Rachel Sapiro and her daughter has had what they found out to be a stroke, and they she's basically been told that she's not going to survive. And Rachel, she's in the hospital. You guys have been given this news. She's in the hospital for five months, though. Tell us when it changes, because you all also get training, because now they're saying, Okay, you have a child with special needs. Tell us about that five months and what pivots in there.

Unknown: 17:24

Yeah, so it was a long journey. From the moment they told us she had a stroke, so she was intubated automatically, and we kept hoping that she would get extubated and right taking home a child on life support is dramatically different than taking home a child not on life support, and we were real. You talked about being a reluctant caregiver. We were really reluctant with the the trach, the vent. We were pushing it off, not just because we were clinging out to hope, but that meant so many things for our family, right? Like we wanted her home, but what did that look like?

Natalie: 17:56

Well, and I want to interrupt for a second, she's going home on a trach, and I would feel super intimidated by that. And you're right, you've got other baby nuggets in the house. You've got three other kids that are in the house, and you're having to navigate. I can imagine that being scary for the boys, even if they'd come visit her, right? Yeah, go ahead.

Unknown: 18:18

Yeah. So there's different aspects that not to jump all over the place, but when they brought in a trach for the first time to the room, just to show me what it looked like, I was like, I can't even look at that. Like, forget about touching it. Like I just can't and that was the emotional part of me, like, I can't even think about learning how to do this for my child, because it was so overwhelming. Now, probably most of your listeners are going watcher. You know, whoever's watching this will think that this is crazy, but we forgot the part where we had about six weeks, three weeks where they didn't know if she was going to survive. One day a nurse said, Oh, you're still here. I didn't even think you were going to survive, but it means you're still here. And that was the first part of realizing, like we survived, because none of the doctors really told us that, which is, you know, it's okay, they had to prepare us for the worst. So thank God she survived, but we were still in so much of a limbo till she ended up going into rehab for her last, you know, portion of the stay there. But I decided at that point, along with my husband, that we were experiencing so much loss and we wanted to rebuild. We decided to go for another embryo transfer during this period,

Natalie: 19:23

right in the middle, yes, in the middle of all this

Unknown: 19:27

stroke was in June. I think I went for my transfer in August. And I talk about this, the fertility clinic was right next to the hospital, and I went, my day was spent in, you know, the mornings or whatever, going in and out of those hospital, the car garages. So I would go, I say, like I had an analogy, like, up and down. I go, like, to visit my daughter, who is hopefully on the mend, and then up another escalate, you know, up another car ramp. I'm trying to build new a new future for ourselves.

JJ: 19:58

How old are you at? That time. I didn't mean to interrupt you. How old are what's the family dynamic there? How old are you and how old is everybody else? The littles

Unknown: 20:06

at that time, my my daughter was really just a month shy of her second birthday. Um, my twins were probably almost six, and my older son was, you know, nine. We knew we wanted more children. And I know there are a lot of people out there who may have special needs children. There is something about having a child after one that has special needs. It gives you a lot of positive energy, you know, just comfort. There is a lot to that, yeah, but we were really in the thick of it, yeah. And then what happens next? Just to kind of answer your question about the training, I was throwing up in between the training, falling asleep. I mean, that was a lot to take home a child with life support, with a trach event. You need to really go through rigorous training, and I'm thankful for it, because we're we know what we're doing. We really, she's a bit more stable now, but we've had to save my child, you know, my daughter's life together. So, you know, we went through that. Thank God we had I was pregnant when we brought her home. We brought her home when I was a few months pregnant after a five month stay. And what that meant for for the siblings was we were just going to continue as normal, right? If anything needed to be different, we let them know. But I think for my older boys, they just wanted to know that Mommy and Daddy were sleeping at home at night. That was their biggest we took time sleeping in the hospital. There was a lot of there was a lot of concern around that, when every single night where were mommy and daddy, but once we were all home, it's like they almost didn't care as much that my their sister looked a bit different. Obviously, I'm sure there was a level of grief that came along with it, because my older son used to play along with my daughter, but we were all home, they just wanted us to be home, and for them, that meant stability. So you probably think we slowed down in terms of our community, work and hosting and everything, I kid you not. I don't know how we had the strength to do so, but it gave us the strength to just continue, right? We had this child who needs special care. We had to continue doing what we loved despite it all, and we really did nothing stops us. I mean, we have a monitor that we bring up and downstairs. If we need to watch her, I run up and down. It's just a full, full life. And thank God gave birth to my baby girl. She just turned a year. So just bring everything full circle. We'll dive into more of the, you know, caregiver aspects. But that's kind of where we are today,

Natalie: 22:41

isn't that so there's, I mean, I know that our listeners are probably have like, 1000 questions, because I know I do, like, it's, you know, how do you make that decision? Because we've had other folks, like, we just had Jess, was I love Jess, plus the mess, yes. Jess chose to have a son, more children after just her son, Jessica pate. Did I think about that? And I think most people would think, Oh my gosh, this is so hard. How can you have more children? And here's the other thing is that if you when you see Rachel on the YouTube, or you see her thing, Rachel looks like she's 20 now, she has been given the gift and blessed with youth. And so you would think, how is this sweet young lady?

Unknown: 23:28

But I'll take it. Yeah,

Natalie: 23:30

girl, we all take it. We will always take it. But it's like, how do you have the energy? And I hear you just saying it was so important to re establish a new normal, and making it normal, like truly having normalcy for your for your boys, for the kids, and incorporating that yes, we can have we do not have. Yes, our life is different, but it can also still be good and full. I love how you said we're going to have a full life. It was so important for you and your

Unknown: 24:05

husband, yeah, and it's interesting, because I don't want anyone to think I wasn't taking any help. We had meal trains for months. I mean, really we there was a lot of support that we needed from family and friends to get through this, um, picking up my kids from school and all those different aspects. But once we were all home, right? The stability just meant a lot. It meant a lot to everyone. So I think for myself, for my husband, and for my family, losing ourselves and having to give up the things that we love and our family looking so different, right? In terms of us always having an open household, if my boys would have felt like we are not doing that, we're stopping everything now, that would have been a dramatic shift for them, and this has kind of been our mentality. You know, it's like when life gives you lemons, you just make lemonade. I We don't say that often the home, but as I'm thinking about that now, that's kind of what we have done. Yeah, right. Maybe family vacations are not us all going together anymore, but my husband takes the boys to make sure. They get that sort of excursions that they can right? I can't go with them and everything now my daughter is it's hard to travel with her, for sure, not. I don't want to take her on a plane right now, and things look different. But we make sure that our boys still feel like the older ones, at least, because they're the ones that are mostly impacted, that they feel like we are. They're living an everyday regular life, even though it might look different than their friends in some ways, they're a bit more spoiled in other ways than their friends. And I want them to know that they still get vacations, they still get to go away, they still get to do that so and they love hosting and, you know, having that community involvement, so it would have been too much of a shift for all of us. I remember when I spoke to one person, when they when I found out that my daughter was going to be trach, you know, vent and, you know, in that type of medical, fragile situation, I spoke to one person, and she texted me back. I gave up my life. I this was while my daughter was in the hospital. She said, I gave up my life. I gave up my job, I gave up everything, and I turned to my husband, fried, and I said, this is horrific, like i This can't be us, and we somehow just made a decision, not necessarily because of what this person said, but that that won't be us. This person, this was years later. I don't want to use the word bitter, because you're taking care of her child, but it's hard when you lose yourself because of different things that happen to you. You're in control of your own destiny, right? Yeah, and I think it's made me stronger for it, knowing that we can do all the things we love, despite how I have this, you know, new aspect of caregiving in my life. And, you know, could talk more about that. Wow,

Natalie: 26:37

I know I told you. She was like, it's not slowing me down. Feel sleepy right now because, and not sleepy because I'm bored. I mean, like, I am exhausted for you, because you work your your you and your husband are actively engaged in the community, and I'm assuming, honestly, the whole family is, like, at some level, the I'm sure the boys are as well. I like, how we could we've got a separation of age, like, you got the boys because they're older, and then the girls and and you're doing all the things, and you know, I think it's important. We've had other guests who come on and they talk about, like Jessica Patay talks about she and her husband have always split vacations because their son can't go, and it's very hard, and it is an accepted thing. And the first time they have gone out, they went on an extended vacation, because he's older now, and they went on an extended vacation for the two of them. But that was very nervous. I remember she was saying, we're getting ready to go on that it's the first time we're doing that. And I think, let's talk. Let's go into relationship. Let's go into yours and your husband's relationship. And I mean, like, I know that something that was really important to you is that you and your husband don't lose your relationship because of care and that, and I think that is, this is not just because you have a special needs child. You've got a literary kids. I love saying a litter. You've got five kids, even if none of them were special, even if you didn't have a special needs child, that is for so many parents that I see, because I don't have kids, but I've seen so many parents give up so much of themselves and their their self themselves, what their things are, things that they enjoy, to sacrifice. And I hate the word sacrifice, because I don't think it should be a sacrifice. I think you should be able to how can you have but how can both things be true? But how do you and then their marriage is affected by that? And then, I think it's why a lot of divorces come after kids go to college or go or go on at move out of the home. What is your all's what is, how have you and your husband been able to maintain let's start with your also relationship?

Unknown: 28:42

Yeah, it's a good question. I will say that it is really nice that he's not out of the house, you know, at a nine to five job outside the home, because he's around more. So even if we are not necessarily spending time right on working, maybe we see, you know, we say hi, we pass the monitor one another, if, if a nurse doesn't show up, but we see each other a lot, which I know some couples are not fortunate. You know, they're all running around doing what they need to do. I would love to say that there's a secret. And I would love to say that we are able to go on date nights or go on vacation together, but we cannot because of, you know, lack of care. I will say the fact that we are both building something together. Going to we'll host an event together. We are contributing together in that nonprofit community sense. We are building a family together, but we're also building something else, and I think that gives us both a commonality and a goal. You know, we'll create an event. Say, what do you think of it? You know, we also have a team who works with us, but I'm kind of the co founder, so, you know, he relies on me to kind of keep things in balance. So it's really nice in that regard. So I think we're building two different things. And then, as it relates to the caregiving, when it does come to the tough things of it's only happened a few times, but I need to save my daughter's life together. It's like. Wow, we're doing something like, wow, together. Like, we're not doing all the frivolous things, you know, in life, but this is really meaningful and impactful now, in terms of, like, the nitty gritty of the stress, right? Not getting into the relationship that can be really, really tough. And at the beginning, my husband and I were processing the loss, right? We speak about, you know, you touched on the grief and loss. Yeah, I was mourning the fact, and I say this candidly, when my daughter had her stroke, I had bought such cute we live in Georgia. I bought such cute Georgia peach swimsuits for my daughter that summer. They were waiting at home. And I was mourning the fact, two months later that she didn't get to wear that those that season, even, even if she had a miraculous cure. The next day, she didn't get to wear those like, I had to try to return them, or I couldn't look at them, right? She had a whole cute, you know, section of clothing to wear that season, and she couldn't wear that. So I was mourning while my husband was like, going through a different sense of grief. So that's something that we had to address. My husband speaks about this when he discusses a challenge of, like, fertility, right? Couples process things so differently and just, how do we maintain the relationship? I think it's the communication of, how are you processing this? It might be really hard for me that a nurse didn't show up that day, but hypothetically for my husband, he might say, Okay, let's just go with the flow. You know, we'll do what we need to do, because he might be more matter of fact about it. So it's just the communication aspect, like one thing that's hard or a struggle for me might not necessarily be a struggle for him, yeah, and I think that's just what helps us kind of stay true to ourselves and our relationship, because we'll continue to have ups and downs in this journey of caregiving, and we need to prioritize ourselves. And you know, hopefully we'll get away soon working on that, but I do realize we just, we try to find time in the home. We're again an evening out, even though it's not like some large vacation,

Natalie: 31:56

yeah, but that's, I think that's important, and staying true to your relationship, and I appreciate you saying it's not like the secret sauce, because honestly, if there was a secret sauce, you just write a book about it and go on the Oprah tour. Girl, be selling it. You just be selling it. I mean, you're a marketing guru, so like, let's we'd just be selling it. Yeah, we're going to take a break because they don't want to come back and want to talk about the boys, and we'll be right back

Unknown: 32:18

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JJ: 33:08

All right, everybody, we are back here with Rachel Shapiro, and we're talking about caregiving and how it impacts families. And we've talked about relationships with a spouse she has three older boys than her, than her daughter, and we want to talk about them and relationship with the boys and you also have that younger daughter. How has I guess my word would be, how have you adjusted them to your new norm? Like, what is the new norm? How has this impacted them and your relationship with them?

Unknown: 33:43

Good question. Yeah, it's a good question. So for better or worse, this whole stage really went over my twins head. You know, everyone kept telling me, do you think your children need to speak to someone? And I was very open to it, right? I really am. But seemingly, like the twins were, I want to say, four at the time, and they just cared about who was feeding them, who was clothing them. Were they playing with that day? They didn't really understand what was happening, and it kind of went over their head. So I don't know that they didn't for they forgot what the norm was before that. But now again, they're still day to day. Is they're going to school, they're playing with their friends, they're getting their presents, they're getting their presents. They're getting their food. Like, yes, they see aspects of our lives, and we have a nurse in the home. But it might sound crazy, but it's not really impacting them in the way that a four a six year old, they're almost seven. Now, what they really care about my older son, he just cares about me making home cooked dinners for him, like, I'm telling you, he's such a foodie, and all three of my boys, actually, when Mother's Day comes around, it's thank you for making me dinner. So maybe that's the trauma they experienced from all those meal trains and all the delicious food other people made for us, yes, but they're so appreciative. Like, when I make them good dinners, you know how important is for kids when you come home, you know, at the end of a long day, I. Um, they just want that home cooked meal. So I think for them, like, if any of that was out of the norm and they felt like we were running to the hospital, I try to communicate with them if someone if we have an appointment that's in the hospital, if there's a chance we might be running late, or if they might have someone else pick them up, because that's important to them. They don't want to be surprised. But other than those aspects of again, getting to school, coming home, who's babysitting them, they they feel that. They sense it. But we take care of my daughter. They're not involved in the care as much, and they trust that, you know, the kids trust us that we're taking care of their sister well. So

Natalie: 35:40

I don't know. I know, but I hear actually. I hear you saying things, Rachel, that actually, so especially with them being young and developing brains, we know brains that as especially as they're developing chronic predictability, that's what predictability routine, and that's what I hear you saying that your boys thrive off of and ask from you in their own way, not verbally, probably, but really, but you know, and you're there, you're there meeting that need. And it's not tangible things. It is time spent with or I need to know who's going to pick me up so that I don't have to be scared that, you know, all of a sudden, it's really about saying everything's okay, so, you know. And you

Unknown: 36:27

did. We did if we came home, if we were walking around like and that's what happened, actually, I forgot to mention this. When we found out that my daughter was likely not going to or they told us might, we had to explain to my son. And we did allow my son to come to the hospital, they made an exception for him to be allowed into the NICU to potentially say goodbye, if that would be the case, right? We had to think about all those things, and we were crying a lot, rightfully so, but they met and made him sad once we once, we stopped crying. I don't know when that happened, but I immediately saw a change in him. He was reflecting what we did. And I think that's what happens now. If we were walking around nervous, if something were going on, he would sense that. And I think parents can infuse confidence in their children despite what is going on. And sorry to cut you off, but that was an important point that I missed earlier words,

Natalie: 37:17

though, Rachel, if they reflect, I think that is probably the biggest takeaway, is how, and it's hard for the adults, if you think about it like I can only imagine, and really not even, but the the emotions, the range of emotions that you're going through, and you are also pregnant at the same time, so you get all the extra hormones, you're Welcome and but all of that and thinking, okay, the little people are looking up to me, and they're looking for direction that everything is safe and secure, yeah, and that is exactly what they want. And that can be hard, and I think about it like for when, when Jason was sick, or whenever we have things that are going on with mom, like our mom can be like, everything's going fine, and then it is full on hot mess, and 911, and then we're back again. So it is this ebb and flow that children have to have built resilience on, and they learn that from their parents.

JJ: 38:16

So I want to talk about you, Rachel. Are you okay with that? Let's talk about Rachel. So I know, let's talk about Rachel. So I know you're a person of faith. And I would, sometimes I would say to myself, we've asked people, do you say, why God? Or do you say, Yep, this is I'm on this path, and there's a reason. What is your attitude towards this? And what have you kind of done, your conversation with God? Your conversation? Yeah, I have conversations all the time.

Unknown: 38:42

Really great question. So I was just telling the story over to someone else yesterday, but it's something that sticks with me. And I know not everyone reacts like this, but as we were in the hospital, found out that she likely was not going to make it, my husband and I were crying. It was obviously a hot mess. I remember saying, How can I even be upset at God, when I have three other healthy children and a wonderful spouse? And I remember thinking in that moment, I have friends who are not married, my friends who are maybe not married to nice men. I have friends who don't have any children, and I have three. And, you know, I have a job in a career and a community. And in that moment, I was like, how could I complain to the person who's given me all the great stuff when I have all that stuff and be upset for the one seemingly bad thing? Now, I do understand, at a higher level, this happened for a reason. I will never know exactly why I kind of get to be I think about things in a bit of a morbid sense. But when this happened, we were supposed to have a grand vacation to a couple of countries. That summer supposed to be a big family vacation, and we had to cancel that. But I said, You know what? I'm sure she saved our life in some way. It could be a bad accident was supposed to happen, and this is how I think I know not everyone does, but I have to convince myself that it is for a good reason. And the only way I could think about it being a good for a good reason is she took the hit for all of us. Like something might have potentially bad happened, and she just, she saved us all from going on this vacation. I know that might not be the reason, but there's some greater reason why she is now a special needs child in our life, and we lost, you know, her. She's still in a minimally conscious state. You know, from a neurological perspective, she has severe brain damage. She's not with us in the same way that she was before, and I won't know the reason why, and I I'm okay with that. I just know it's for the good. So I didn't ask, Why me? Because otherwise I would have been asking, Why me? Why did I get to get married? Why did I get to have a spouse? Why did I get to have three children? And I know it's a really, you know, a certain level of belief, but it's, it's how I coped, and maybe that was ingrained in my upbringing. Yeah, and other things happened to me my life, but this was a pretty big one, so that's kind of what I was going through at that point.

Natalie: 40:54

I really appreciate that Rachel and I, and you know, it's really the stories we tell ourselves. It's like when you see other people's lives. I can remember sitting there on the 14th floor in New York, and I was feeling, you know, every now and then I'd be like, I'd felt like a little bit like Rapunzel, like I was in this, this white tower, and I was kind of held hostage, because I'm in this great city, and it's so great, and I'm thinking, whatever. And I would and but I felt like a hostage, like I had no control, and so I would look out the window at all the other high rises, and I would make up stories for the people, and it's the stories that we tell ourselves, and I would always try to make them happy, stories and or but I agree with you in the sense of, I think it's what do we tell ourselves to cope. And I don't think it's that it's wrong. I don't know that it's not about being right or wrong. It's about how did that help you get through that time? But she was meant to be in your life exactly the way that she is, and she'll be exact, she'll be there exactly the amount of time that she's meant to. And I'm a I'm also, we're big believers in God as well, and and his plan is perfect, and so she's meant to be here, because otherwise you wouldn't be here with us. Yeah, I think about things like that. So sharing your story, yeah. And so tell let's talk about care, the care piece of it, and how care. Because I know we're getting close to our times time for Sister questions. I can't even believe that, but I love Rachel, because she's a sister. Rachel because she's a sister. What does care look like for you guys? Now I know that it's probably evolved and like because you said that you had a nurse. I caught that for a sec, so you had a nurse that provides support to you guys. What does care look like for you guys?

Unknown: 42:38

Yeah, so I'll dive into that, but I just wanted speak about the reluctant caregiver piece, right? I spoke about the fact that, like, I kind of coped and just did as I needed to. But in the hospital, when they were training us, I kept saying I didn't sign up for this. I didn't want to be a caregiver. I'm in business. I'm like, you know, I was not the compassionate, empathetic, let's be a nurse. Save the world in that aspect, I wanted to be in business. But in healthcare, you know, that aspect of it, but this was like, not for me. And I kept telling everyone I did not sign up to be a nurse. I didn't want this in my life. Like I consciously made a decision to not go to medical school or to become a nurse. And here I am being faced with needing to get oriented with all these things, just kind of touching on the belief. Someone said to me, I told them, I didn't sign up for this. I did not sign up for this. I went around saying this for like, at least two weeks. Someone said there's actually a concept where your soul up in heaven before it comes down to earth, gets to pick its package and your of life. That what it looks like. And guess what? Your soul actually did pick this one. So when you go around saying you don't, you just sign up for this, somewhere along the line, you your soul picked this package of the family that you have in the husband and everything. And after that, I stopped saying it, because I kind of knew they were right. I was like, Okay, I give up. I surrender package.

Natalie: 43:55

It is true. I don't disagree with that. Keep going,

Unknown: 43:59

yeah. So with the care we were set up with nurses. We went through a lot of nurses. At the beginning, we learned different things. We needed someone who was able to get on the floor and be physically active with my daughter, lift her up. We had a lot of stairs in my home. Did we have nurses who were okay with that? That might have meant different levels of physical fit levels or whatever. There were a lot of different identifying criteria, criteria that we kind of learned along the way, nurses that were not working for us. Unfortunately, it was a pretty rocky start. Then we found an angel nurse who came. She had her own journey, and she joined us for you know, it was interesting just how her life aligned to kind of fall into our lap, and she was with us for quite a bit, then she had to leave for personal reasons. And, you know, we've always had different nurses along the way. We are now in a bad rut. You know, we've had some different nurses, and there's a lot of different personalities, and have a busy house. Sold we are around. I like to think that we provide a good environment for nurses, but there's a lot of things that come into having someone in the home that's right. And even though you could think it's going well, I won't share too much, but I've gotten emails of crazy scenarios of one nurse not liking that another nurse changes a diaper or PJs like, I mean, it could be as basic as that, and I'm caught in the middle, and I never realized the how much monkey in the middle I'd be doing between nurse a, Nurse B, Nurse C, the home care agency, provider. And it's really that's what's draining, you know, talk about how I do everything like that is what drains me most.

JJ: 45:37

It's as a staffing company, you are a gap. You are a boss.

Unknown: 45:41

Yes, even though we have a home care agency, you know, who works with us, it's just hard because I'm in the home and I see the things they say and I, you know, there have been comments about things my kids have been doing which hurts, which I don't think it was right that they said it, you know, I'll defend my children. But different things that wonders might have taken a different things that might have not make them feel comfortable in the home. So it's a lot of navigating that we are in Georgia. So we do not get 24 hour care, even though she's on life support, which is a bit of a challenge. So at night, it's up to me, my husband, he's in charge of my medically fragile daughter monitor, and I'm in charge of the baby monitor. So that was also a harder postpartum, because normally I could have his health with baby, but he never knew if later in the night, he'd have to get up to alarms for my daughter, just disconnecting herself. Nothing, you know, dramatic, but he was kind of, he still till today, we're each in charge of our own, like we have twins again, right? We were each in charge. He had he took care of twin a, I took care of twin B. That's kind of how it went. So we have that now. And with nursing, I go through stages where I'm very, very blessed to be fully staffed. And then there's always those, even if I'm going through a bad day, there's there's always those nurses that surprise me and say, You know what, you have a party or event or a wedding you need to go to, I'll come that day and take care of it. There are really compassionate people in the industry, those life saving nurses who come to my home and take care of us when we need to, when we need it most. But there's a lot of days where wears you down. And you know, I like to think, you know, we are appreciative of all the caregivers out there, but the clients like myself just really need some extra support to lean on, whether it's a you know caregiver, you know for you, what you do for your mom, all those other people out there. I think the it's not just your own emotions, but it's like the emotions of dealing with the scheduling and who's showing up and are they canceling today, and some passive aggressive nature, like, there's a lot that goes into it. It's really heavy for me at times?

Natalie: 47:40

Yeah, I could totally see that. Yeah. Well, and let me ask too, and we are pushing up against our time, so I want to be mindful of that, but I don't really care. You know, my standard answer, but then I don't care. So you've got, you have, I think, do you have a combination? Well, you clearly have a combination of paid and unpaid caregivers to provide support, because she needs additional support and nursing meets that need part of it. Do you have? Would you still say that you have folks from the from the faith community, from them, from your community Where's family is are there folks that are coming in periodically to help you guys or, and I'm just, this is just, I don't know the answer to it, and it's not to call anybody out. But do you have other folks that are also helping you guys to try to navigate this as as well? Because you you're just, you're saying what we've said a lot. Caregivers. Need caregivers some days, sometimes you need a caregiver for yourself.

Unknown: 48:39

Yeah. So we have the paid nurses who were set up with if we kind of fall short and we need some extra support. There's a few. It's not so easy to find someone who's treatment certified, and that's the difference, yeah, right. I can't leave my daughter with just anyone. It's a big weight to, you know, to carry. It's not just that physically her weight, when you know the weight of all her supplies. And we want to go travel to a family affair or something. Yeah, it's just we can't leave her with anyone. So I have a friend who used to come at the beginning. She was more available. She used to take care of a trach van patient, and she would come on a Wednesday when I didn't have a nurse in the morning and help out. We do not have any family members who are trach van certified, and maybe someday I'll find a sibling or niece, or, you know, someone who is passionate about it, but we don't really have medical professionals in our home, in that in our family, in that way, who are eager to learn that we try to keep my son not super involved. I don't want him to feel the responsibility of having to save my daughter's life. That could be really hard. Yeah. So we help him, you know, if he wants to reconnect something and we're around, we'll say, you want to run up and do it, but we don't really want him to feel the burden there. And then there's a few family member a few community members, one who works in the hospital where my daughter sometimes gets admitted, which is really, really nice, but it's pretty lean on that in that end. Because there's not many who are trained, but I will say that we have family members coming in to help with carpools and different things like that. That's also care, yeah, which is really, really helpful if we need it. If my daughter would hypothetically get admitted or do different things, we could call them and they'd be

Natalie: 50:16

here, yeah? And I think that's that it sounds like they're you're really managing a team, and you're managing the group and coordinating care for your daughter, but also for the children, for family, you're coordinating life. There's a lot of feels like a lot of scheduling and and trying to allowing for those surprises. But you built a beautiful life. I slowed you down, Rachel, and I love that about it, I think. And I want to go into some of the questions, because let's go into sister questions. Are you ready? I am super

JJ: 50:46

ready. So you said something my my question is you said that your daughter is on life support, basically, and that she is medically fragile. And that touched me. What does your what does your future look like? Rachel, what do you say for you all, a

Unknown: 51:07

good question. I'll tell you. My husband called up someone who had who has a treatment child who's about 13. It's their only child. And my husband said, How do you cope? And he said, I only take it one day at a time. And I know it sounds so simple, but it's true, like I could sit here planning and thinking about what will be, but I really don't know. I mean, maybe we have plans to hopefully have her come off a trick that you know, the trach at some point, maybe not tomorrow, but it's not out of the question. The you know, her team is working on that at some point, so maybe that will look different. Honestly, I'm thinking about like tomorrow and if I could get respite care at some point to go, you know, on a break at some point. You know, that's kind of my near future. What I'm thinking about, yeah, but I don't think about forever and always what that looks like, because I Listen. I'll tell you we we were blessed to do construction on our home, and we customized all the plans two months after we started, or really right as we broke ground, my daughter had her stroke. Everyone sees our home. There are steps going off, there's a lot of steps around. And everyone's like, what are you going to do with this house? I said, if I was meant to customize my home to my daughter's needs. I think God would have arranged it so the stroke happened, like, right before, you know, when we did the plans, like, that's no fluke, right? That's crazy. We had the opportunity to customize plans, and we just didn't. So for now, we're not we put a ramp in the backyard, but I'm not thinking about it just yet. She's only three and a half again. I don't think about, like, 20 years ahead, but at some point I may have to move right. What does that look like for my home that can't necessarily accommodate my daughter in the perfect way? Yeah, it might not be. It might be a luxury to accommodate her perfect way, but I might try, if I can at some point. Yeah,

Natalie: 52:56

you know, I think there's a couple of things that you had mentioned to us because we had asked you about, you know, hey, what are things? And I feel like we've hit on a lot of them, but there was one thing that you said that struck me, and I think it's the opposite of what I think most people would say. And you said, My personality is not to rely on anyone, and that was the first thing we started with, and assume people will cancel. It might be pessimistic, just

Unknown: 53:21

on the rely, yeah, I love to show up.

Natalie: 53:23

Yes, well, and I think that's the point. And I think the part that I liked is how you ended it. So having low expectation and being surprised has helped me Tell me a little bit more about low expectations and being surprised. So,

Unknown: 53:35

you know, I have family members when I tell them, Oh, can you believe it? A nurse, you know, canceled for today, maybe for a good reason, maybe they were sick, or whatever the case may be, they're like, huffing and puffing on the phone, right? They're upset for me, and I appreciate their sincere, you know, condolences for my nurse not coming home, and I'm dealing with whatever I had going on that day, right? But I'm like, You know what? I always kind of expect it, not because I don't rely on caregivers. It's just I cope. It's a coping mechanism. I am totally fine. I mean, it's upsetting, but I could move on, and that's just how it's been, right? I think I rely on friends and family and those a bit more. Maybe it's just the nature of relying on things related to my daughter, because if a family member says they're coming to pick up your kids, should they come to a party? I would be upset, right? Or different aspects related to that, and family does show up. They say they're coming, they'll be there, but I think related to the help and just the nature of caregiving and the hired help, right? I'm thankful that I am around. And on days when a nurse cancels, I said, Okay, you know what? I'll get to give my daughter extra kisses today, like I just respect it. Maybe I've been too busy that week, and I get to, you know, focus on her, but it's hard. It's just I don't want to sit there and wallow and have to change all my plans because I assume that someone was going to show up. So I had. Do have a lot of people I can rely on, but I, I don't know, I err on the side of caution to protect myself, maybe well, and

Natalie: 54:58

I think it's part protection. But it also allows you to roll with it, and you're not going to spend a lot of energy on things that won't serve you and and that's a good and, you know, I think that. I think that is fine in it, because you're right. People could sit there and be like, why? It's why me? Why do I have this? And you could say, well, they're not going to show and I don't hear you saying, well, they're not going to show up anyway. It anyway. It's not about that. It's really about like life happens. My child had a stroke at one and a half, so things unexpected will happen, and I'm going to be okay with it. I'm going to make sure that I'm okay with it, because it will happen. It's not that it will never happen. And I think it's just a shift in the lens of, how do I manage the the it goes back to the chronic unpredictability. There is a lot of unpredictability every day, and so at least you know for yourself, you're able to say, I'm going to be okay with this. No matter what happens, good or bad, they show up. Great, they don't show up. I'll deal with it, but I'm not going to melt down.

Unknown: 56:07

Yes, and I think that's the difference, because I always say this example, like my mother taught us all how to clean, like, if the clean lady doesn't show up, like, Okay, we still know how to clean. And I know a lot of people rely on cleaning help, and I'm not the best cleaner, but we don't melt if our cleaning assistance doesn't show up. And I think I was always brought up with that mentality, right? Yeah, and then COVID hit, right? How many people were drowning once COVID hit? And different thing, people couldn't show up to take care of their services. I think that's mentality I like what you said, which is, it's not with anger. It's not with anger that I can't rely on anyone I know. I can rely on certain people for certain tasks, but life happens. Someone might their car might break down, whatever the reason might be. I just that's the attitude that I

Natalie: 56:47

have, very lovely. It is care. It is say, lovey, yeah, I have my last question ready. I am This is always my last question, Rachel, because I know JJ had asked her questions. You have any other questions? Good, I'm good. Okay, solid, just making sure got it. All right. Always want to be respectful of my elders. You're so welcome for that. That was free. That was a freebie at the end. All right, Rachel, what? And this is people are going to be like, I definitely want to hear this one. What is your favorite guilty pleasure? What is the one thing that you do just for you, because you got a lot going on. Girl, what is the thing that you do for just you? That it's just for you.

Unknown: 57:28

If I have the day, I will go out by myself to the outlets and shop. I don't even need to buy anything. But like I will, I just need the day. It doesn't happen so often. I did it for my birthday in September last so I hope it doesn't wait until next September, but in the interim, there's bits of just going outside and catching some Georgia sun for a few minutes a day. I know it's not, might sound funny, but sitting down and eating a proper meal during the day is a bit of self care, because I'm working and I sometimes, and it's not always. Most days, I do have coverage for my daughter, but it's like getting the time to take a have a proper meal. Yeah, and just time for myself. Sometimes I do just run out on different errands. And if I'm by myself and have the luxury to do so, I'm not completely strapped at home, but if I have time to do something that's like going to the mall for an hour. Like things that normal people can do maybe, or maybe not. People are busy in life, right? But those are the things that just make me feel like, okay, I could just peruse a store and be normal, and, you know?

Natalie: 58:32

Yeah, I just, I agree with it gotcha. I totally agree with that Trader Joe's was my favorite. I would go to Trader Joe's and they would just, and I would just peruse. That is anything didn't have to buy. I didn't even need anything, but I went to Trader Joe's every day and perused, and got to look at all the other people, and people watch and wonder, and just be like I felt like everybody else, yeah, just like everybody else and so, and so, and that's the best part about everybody else, is you have no clue what's going on in their life. And so this has been so wonderful, Rachel,

JJ: 59:07

it's such a beautiful story. And thank you for sharing it. Thank you for sharing with us first, because you said you'd never share the full story, and it is beautiful,

Unknown: 59:16

and maybe the one and only, until my husband decides to write another book.

JJ: 59:20

Yeah, no. But your attitude about everything is that's the most beautiful part about it, and that it's not slowed you or your family down. You have created a beautiful life, regardless of the circumstances. You just, you just, you just roll with it, and you've created something

Natalie: 59:34

amazing. She's living an and life that's exactly right. And this and this, I'm going to be this is hard, and I'm going to get through it, and so I just, I think you're an inspiration and just a blessing, and I'm grateful to know you so guys. Thanks so much for joining us and listening in and until we confess again, we'll see you next time. Bye, bye. Well, friends, that's. A wrap on this week's confession. Thanks so much for listening in to the podcast, but before you go, please take a moment to leave us a review and tell your friends about the confession show. Don't forget visit our website to sign up for our newsletter, as well as connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest and Twitter. You'll also find the video recording of all of our episodes on the confessions website and our YouTube Channel. We'll see you next Tuesday when we come together to confess again. Till then, take care of you. Okay, let's talk disclaimers. We are not medical professionals and are not providing any medical advice. If you have medical questions, we recommend that you talk with a medical professional of your choice. As always, my sisters and I at confessions of our reluctant caregiver have taken care in selecting the speakers, but the opinions of our speakers are theirs alone. The views and opinions stated in this show are solely those of the contributors and not necessarily those of our distributors or hosting company. This podcast is copyrighted and no part can be reproduced without the express written consent of the sisterhood of care LLC. Thank you for listening to The Confessions of a reluctant caregiver podcast. You.