From Four Kinds to One Community: The Rosalynn Carter Institute's Holistic Approach to Supporting Caregivers

Established in 1987 by former First Lady Rosalynn Carter, the Rosalynn Carter Institute promotes the health, strength, and resilience of caregivers at every stage of their journey. As Mandy Barr, a caregiver coach and engagement specialist at the Institute, eloquently explained, the organization is dedicated to supporting caregivers from all backgrounds—whether they are military, veteran, or civilian families.

One of the standout aspects of the Rosalynn Carter Institute's approach is its focus on addressing the complexities and nuances of caregiving. Through research-backed programs and resources, the Institute aims to provide tailored support that meets each caregiver's unique needs. 

The Institute offers valuable tools, such as the preparedness guide, which helps caregivers, especially those in military families, prepare for emergencies and disasters. By training first responders on these resources, the Rosalynn Carter Institute ensures that caregivers and their loved ones receive the support they need during challenging times.

About Mandy:

Mandy was born and raised in Plains, GA and earned her Bachelor of Arts in Dramatic Arts with a minor in English in 2004 from Georgia Southwestern State University. Throughout her career, she has served as a Secondary English teacher, Executive Director of Americus Literacy Action, Inc. an ESOL instructor and Academic Success Counselor, acquiring extensive mental and behavioral mental health training while working with at-risk individuals. She now serves as a Caregiver Coach and Engagement Specialist at the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers.

Living in Americus, she enjoys various outdoor adventures with her husband who is a veteran and three children, daughters Riley and Emily, and son, Cuyler, who has an ultra-rare brain disorder called Allan-Herndon Dudley Syndrome. Being a caregiver to a medically complex child, Mandy hopes to provide resources and support to other caregivers needing advocacy and support.

Transcript

Natalie: 0:00

Hey guys, it's your favorite, sisters with the Confessions of a reluctant caregiver. Show. On the show, you'll hear caregivers confessing the good, the bad and the completely unexpected. You're guaranteed to relate, be inspired, leave with helpful tips and resources, and, of course, laugh. Today's episode is part of our special series, heroes caring for heroes. We're featuring organizations who offer services and support to our hero caregivers. Now let's listen in as we learn more about these amazing organizations. Hey, Jay, good morning. Good

JJ: 0:35

morning. Natalie,

Natalie: 0:37

you know it feels so good to be here with you.

JJ: 0:39

You do. It does. And the one of the reasons why I love these episodes is because it's part of heroes. Heroes.

Natalie: 0:46

What do you mean these episodes? I was talking about just me getting to be here? Well, even that too. Okay, that's really sweet of you. I know there's a little laughter in the background, like a little pixie laughter. I know it's really sweet. But guys, we are so excited to have you join us today on our special educational series, heroes caring for heroes, exactly

JJ: 1:06

right? And this series is sponsored by CVS Health antenna, the world's its number one incontinence brand and Norwegian Cruise Line. Oh, we really love

Natalie: 1:15

them. You know, our friends at Summit behavioral health care, tactical recovery, they're also helping out with this. Our friends, we've got some friends at Forge health that are helping the Fisher House. We've had so many organizations jump on from here too. And it just shows the importance and the value of offering this series to make sure both our military, our both active duty, and our veterans, their families, but also civilians, have a really good awareness of the resources and support, as well as hear from the caregivers themselves slightly. So today is an educational episode. It

JJ: 1:52

is, and it is. It is an organization that I love, and because it is, if you've heard about caregivers, you've heard about this organization, absolutely.

Natalie: 2:02

It's synonymous with caregiving. It is the Rosalind Carter Institute, exactly right? So I love that. Yeah, so

JJ: 2:08

let me tell you a little bit about them and who we have here with us today. Ready? We are incredibly excited and happy to introduce you to the rosalin Carter Institute for caregivers today. The Institute was established in 1987 by the former First Lady, Rosalynn Carter. They had a mission, and it was to promote, I love this, to promote the health, the strength and the resilience of all caregivers at every stage in their journey. That was it very simple. I like it when you keep it simple. I know it. They are champions for family caregivers through partnerships, programs, advocacy, and I'm telling you, the list is really long Today with us is as Natalie said, you heard that laugh in the background. Mandy bar she serves as a caregiver Coach and an engagement specialist at the institute. She cares for five family members herself. Her husband is a veteran, and she also has a son with a rare brain disorder. So she is definitely caregiver. She's got a lot of experience herself. And Mandy, we are thrilled to have you here with us. You definitely understand the importance of the mission.

Unknown: 3:13

Just thank you. I'm honored to be here today. Oh,

Natalie: 3:16

and we're so excited to be able to have you come and share more about the Rosalind Carter Institute, I think that's that's what's so important. And the purpose of these educational episodes, really, is for people to gain an understanding of the additional resources that are available. And the best part about the Rosalind Carter Institute is they support caregivers of all backgrounds, shapes, sizes, whether you're military, non military. And for our friends who are listening abroad, their online resources are fantastic, and you do not have to be a US citizen to have access. So Mandy, I think we should just jump right

JJ: 3:54

in. Yeah, so we really want to know, give us the down and dirty high level of the Rosalind Carter Institute. Yeah, you go back and go into detail. You can tell us that every night

Unknown: 4:07

it's a lot to unpack because we're doing so many fantastic things for caregivers. But basically, I would like to start with the four kinds quote, Mrs. Carter. It's a famous quote, and if you're not already familiar with it, I'll make you familiar with it today. And she was known to say quite frequently that there were only four kinds of people in the world, those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers. And we feel like that's we really honor that I like to call like a cycle of life, because that's what it truly is. Whether some people are in that stage of life where they feel like they're, you know, they're kind of ready to accept that or not, it is going to be more like a fact of life. We all go through these different stages, and I, myself, was not. Yeah, I would say, like, even years ago, I never knew that my life would be what it is today. We are very blessed, as we mentioned earlier, with a child that has a rare brain disorder. I'm blessed to have two other wonderful children, as well as a husband who is a veteran and has, you know, post traumatic stress disorder, but I myself didn't really identify as a caregiver until I received, until I started working with the Roseland Carter Institute years ago, for the first time, as a caregiver coach and being trained to work with military family caregivers. And what we're doing here, the RCI is basically making sure that we are making our best efforts to carry on Mrs. Carter's legacy right now, using that four kinds quote, and really paying very careful attention to the many I would say, I would like to say demographics as a research term here, but in all honesty, we are diving into any and every little pool of caregivers that we can find, that we can discover. We're trying to unveil the many complexities of the lives of these caregivers. But there's so many different common denominators, yet so many differences at the same time. I like to call us in a very positive term, like we really are each like a little stuff, like what we are all so unique and so different. But there are, in fact, so many different common denominators, and those are what we are really pulling out as well and really trying to provide research based and research backed, programming and resources that can touch on all of these common denominators while addressing some of those complexities, you know, at the same time, all those little nuances, especially cultural nuances, that come into play, cultural differences. You know, amongst our many different caregivers, we're really trying to create a world where every family caregiver caring for individuals who are aging and experiencing illness or living with a disability, for example, we want to make sure that they are seen, that they are heard and that they are supported in Our resources and in our programming,

Natalie: 7:22

you know, now, advocacy, yeah, and, you know, and I, and I've had a couple more questions just off of that original is, is I really like, there's things that resonate with me, that you said I love, that you said caregivers are like snowflakes, because the visual of that is so Like, a parent. It is, is something that we all know and see, and yet the beautiful, like we think about snow and we think about how beautiful it is. And I love looking at the snowflakes and in in its essence, like when you're looking out, they all look the same, but when you come closer, they're all unique and beautiful in their own way. I just think that is a beautiful analogy that is going to stick with me. You know, I know that you guys are are doing, and I love the four kinds quote. If you don't, if you've never heard of the four kinds quote, it's, it's because you did not self identify as a caregiver. That's, I really think so, because once you know it, it's like you see it everywhere, and you're right about your own experience of not having self identifying as a caregiver until you had that training, and then you can't unsee it. Yeah, that's right. And so, so I think you know, I know that you guys have a lot of different programs and things like that. Do you want to hit high level on some of the programming that that you guys are currently offering, even it's just right now some of the things that people may not be aware of,

Unknown: 8:56

yes, I'd be happy to or we're still offering right now at the Rosen Carter Institute, as some people are well aware of, Mrs. Carter was a caregiver at a very young age. She cared for her father, who had become ill at a very young age and had passed away when she was young. And from there and while she was campaigning for her husband, as he was running for governor and then later for President. While she was going door to door, she really began seeing the true plight of caregivers face to face, those that were caring for someone, especially with dementia or a form of dementia, and most particularly, you know, Alzheimer's. And she saw a lot of people who were also caring for someone who had a mental illness, or various different mental illnesses, is what, you know, she was witnessing, you know, throughout the the campaigning years. And that just drove really, this passion. It just fueled the passion that she had for her. Creating policy and for creating a foundation for taking care of the caregiver. We had these hidden heroes as well. You know, I like to call them too, in the home, that were on the front lines all the time. And of course, I'm using some language that's familiar with military family caregivers, but, but it's actually, but I believe all caregivers are on the front line. I mean, absolutely, no matter which community you belong to. And she really saw that the strain or the toll that that role was taking on, you know, the caregiver at the time. And so in our programming, we do offer with dementia, you know, in that area, especially dealing with dementia workshop, which is one of my favorites. Honestly, I know I am biased in the military family community, but this is yet another problem solving approach that we take with caregivers in this workshop dealing with dementia stems from our REACH program, which was a six month long coaching program for caregivers that we're dealing with dementia, and that's some people get that a little confused with the VAs reach. We are two separate entities there that we have a relationship with, Veterans Administration. Their REACH program is different from from our REACH program, and our focus is specifically on dementia caregiving. And we have a beautiful, gorgeous guide. I wish I could flash it right now, but we have a gorgeous guide that goes with this workshop, that also went with the reach coaching program. And in the workshop, what the facilitator or the trainer is doing is they're showing the caregiver just basically how to use this guide. It is a thick whopper of a guide. It is, is gorgeous. I'm very partial to it, because I have found that this guide is very helpful, not just for someone who is dealing with a form of dementia, but I found that this crosses over, and that problem solving approach crosses also over into the military family community as well. We're seeing some similarities there, especially as we're dealing with the rise in, you know, the cases of traumatic brain injury, yeah, and moderate to severe, you know, brain injury and those memory issues that are, you know, coming out of that brain injury and that in that illness in the family, and so with that guide, the caregivers are taking are taken through the guide. Know how to use the guide. It's a wealth of resources. It goes through problem solving. It has honest conversations. Caregivers can engage with each other in that workshop, and we offer that both in the virtual space and also in the physical space. So it depends on the trainer that we can connect you to. We have trainers all across the United States that have been trained to deliver this workshop, and those caregivers who really have a good experience and who are working with, perhaps like medical staff, or they're working with a lot of caregivers in their community, they also have the opportunity to become a trainer and become facilitator of those workshops. And so we've had a lot of success with that as well. For those who are so enthusiastic about the experience that they had, they want to become a trainer down the road. So it's the gift that keeps on giving as well. Like Raha, it's really the graph that keeps looking with

Natalie: 13:21

me well, and yes, say this just real quick, Jay, you know, peer support. So it when you're, you know, that's an evidence based program. We know that that where it well, it's an evidence based practice, actually, that that when you, when you have individuals who would that lived experience to teach those courses. It really is because they can share that personal experience. They can share, you know, hey, I can relate. That's what we're all about. Relate, educate, inspire, laugh, and they would be able to relate. And so it doesn't. It doesn't surprise me that RCI is using EDP or evidence based practice and programming to support caregivers and our military families. So maybe, you know, this

JJ: 14:06

month, of course, is, is we're going to celebrate, we're going to honor veterans, and then we also have national family caregivers month. We've talked with a lot of people, and we talk about the differences in a veteran that whole family and how they relate to community. There's there's differences in that, that experience military families, I guess, and versus a civilian family. And I know that you know you have RCI has some amazing resources. And one of the things you know you're talking about that dementia, those resources for handbooks, I want to talk about something though your preparedness guide, because I knew there's so much in there for the military, and you and I talked about it right before the hurricanes here in the fall. Yes, I want to talk about that because, because this is a focus on military, this guide is fantastic for everybody. Tell me why that is so important.

Unknown: 15:00

Hi, I get to brag again. I love to do your war right now, because it's not just because I think we're, you know, we're special. Of course, we are but, but I, I had the honor of being a part of this project as we were working with the Veterans Administration, our lovely and I can't tutor one enough. Leslie pool, our phenomenal programs manager. She has a long standing experience in emergency preparedness. Her husband, in fact, was a part of emergency preparedness, had a role in that professionally for many years in our county, here in Sumter County, Georgia. And so she had both personal experience and professional experience to bring to the table. And we were, you know, we were brainstorming one day, and she had the thought of, is that we really need to to develop a preparedness guide or plan for caregivers. But also specifically for our military families, who, as I talked about having complexities before, there's just all these little nuances that come with preparing in a military family or in a community when you may have someone the home that has traumatic brain injury, that may have post traumatic stress, you know, disorder, and there may be other mental illness, or there may be in our like, in our situation, one particular aspect we brought to the table work families that have children with special needs or unique needs. There are very there are a lot of similarities, I think, across the board, and some of these military families that have, I was, the best way I can explain is we have various triggers going on, you know, in that family, and we're already accustomed to working around those triggers. We're accustomed to being prepared as we go out and about, like into crowds, for example, to events, you know, having an exit strategy, you know, as you're going out as a family. But what about in those areas that are more disaster prone, such as we live in southwest Georgia. We are still in the height of hurricane season. We have tornadoes down here as well, and a tornado actually wreaked havoc through our town many years ago and wiped out our hospital, and no one was prepared. We did not receive warning and time for that. And since then, this has just been something I think that was brewing. It was something that we knew was going to come into fruition eventually, preparedness guide like this, because we saw the importance of that. We have areas that flood easily as well. And then I've personally worked with caregivers from Florida who've had to up in their entire lives and relocate. And that is traumatic in itself. When you weren't prepared, you had to you've lost everything, and you have someone who may have memory issues, who may have traumatic brain injury, and just having to recreate your life. I mean, words can't really adequately, adequately explain what that experience is like for people and how traumatic that can be. So with our prepared military caregivers, guy, what we've done is we've worked with the Veterans Administration. We had a pool of caregivers, a mixture of people with both professional and personal experience from disaster preparedness, from that area in general, from Florida, Alabama, Georgia. We just kind of had a trifecta, you know, an area of you know, people who had, have lived this experience. And we went through, we like, with a fine tooth comb. We really poured through any and every little valley, and, you know, went up every hill and every through every valley, trying to figure out, you know, what else are we needing to make this a really thorough guide. And so it's a toolkit for caregivers of veterans for disaster preparedness. And for example, it has your own profile in there, much like our dealing with dementia guide and when we had our coaching program in the past for Military Family caregivers, we are very we like to encourage our caregivers to develop your caregiver profile as quickly as possible. And that is no different when it comes to preparedness. We need to have a profile that exists. It's in print because you don't know where you're going to be able to plug in a flash drive or, you know, I'm old school like that, or digitally send something. If you don't have internet access, you're not going to be able to pull something up, you know, automatically. So we need something that's in print, preferably laminated, and that is included in the guide. The guide really takes you through how to create that profile for your. Health for the veteran in the family there may need more than one you may be caring for a spouse or you may be caring for an uncle or an aunt or a grandmother or grandfather who also had wartime experience and maybe dealing we I've worked with many caregivers who are working with dementia, but also traumatic brain injury at the same time, and other chronic illness. Again, we pull in the children of the family, minors that are in the home. What are they needing to make this type of transition as smooth as as humanly possible for those families who are having to relocate, who are going to a shelter. What are you needing? We talk about preparing sensory activities. You know, what are some things that we need to pack that help calm your person down? You know them better than anybody else. What do you need to make this transition transition as smooth as possible? You know, I used to click, that's

Natalie: 20:59

so interesting. I'm so glad you brought the profile up, because there's, this is not only a resource, just Jay for military families and veteran families, but this is everybody. I mean, I think about, you know, if you know, I've worked with foster care population, and we have face sheets, and it is essentially, it has their basic information, but the behind it can be additional information about that individual, so that you know their specifics, to know how to fully support them. And that's what I hear you telling me. And I'm thinking about this, like we should have this for Jason. We should have one for mom, yeah, but really, should we not have it for ourselves? Because it goes back to the four kinds, like, at some point, we may need care. And so why wouldn't I write my own profile to let someone know if I'm not able to communicate that myself? You know, this is my likes, dislikes. This what's helps calm me if I'm not able to verbalize that in that moment, these are things that you need to know. Besides, you know my you know, all kinds of things. So I just like this profile, like, totally has me going. And, you know, I'll tell you the other thing, when you talk about this preparedness guide, we've just come and I know this will come out a little later this month, but we just had the hurricane. And a lot of people who are not used to it. They may say, Oh, I don't need that. I mean. And I think about our friends in Asheville, North Carolina, who've had and southwestern Virginia and and south and Western Kentucky that had the hurricane impacted them in a completely different way. And I think about all the families who then are caregivers, especially in rural, Appalachia, Appalachia. And you say Appalachia, I say Appalachia, or Appalachia. And so I think about that. And you never know when that 100 year Flood's going to happen. And then, how do you support that person? And you're right, they were cut off from internet for a week, many, many days. And so how do you how do you help? I just this resonates, and it's so timely to say just because you think you don't live in an area doesn't mean that you shouldn't just be prepared. Yeah, it

JJ: 23:13

this resource is, and I know she shared it with me a couple weeks ago, this resource is, it is something to be proud of me, because it is, you're very proud of it. It is a baby. And, you know, the thing is, it's, it's, there's no charge for it. It's like, it, I get out, it's free. It is, and I think it's, again, there's so many triggers. But that's not just military. That is people with children with differing abilities, you know, as adults, we have, you know, her mom, who's Parkinson's, and there are things that trigger her Honda, you know? And I'll say this, you know, she has an excess saliva issue, and that can really put her in a panic attack. But writing down something that says, This is what's going to calm her when this can make her need to go to an ER, needs

Natalie: 23:54

candy. You know, we give candy right now, candy. Give candy like what? Candy?

Unknown: 23:59

Give

Natalie: 23:59

her some jolly wraps.

JJ: 24:00

This is, this is something that we hope anyone listening, you've got to get on. We'll have the resource. Oh, we're totally put Yeah, the league is thanks in here. But for all the guides that you all have, it just the resources are just amazing through the through RCI.

Unknown: 24:14

And I will say also that again, I refer back to the phenomenal Leslie pool. You must have both of experience with this. We have received a grant, also from the Amos foundation, that is going to link first responders to training. So basically, that is currently underway. We are this the next step where we're going with this particular preparedness guide is training first responders with this preparedness guide in mind, because, as you just mentioned, too, I mean, we had this absolutely horrific, heartbreaking experience, and it was, and I'll say that on a personal, very personal level, as we prepared for the hurricane, it was we were supposed to be under the eye originally. Generally on the hurricane where we live, we were supposed to be literally right under the eye, and then to see that happen, it's like, you know, you're relieved, but at the same time to watch that unfold and go in a completely different direction and hit people that were completely, completely unprepared, it was a heart wrenching experience for everyone, and traumatic. And so I couldn't help but think, you know, and from professionally, I'm thinking, I wonder how many people had, you know, information in like, dry bags, yeah, you know, like you would take, like, canoeing with you on a boat. Like, I wonder how many people were prepared and had think, like, they're important information stored in a, you know, dry, safe, or something like that. It's just all these little things I think about because of my training and experience that you wish that you could just spread to the masses, but, you know, it's if you don't get there in time. And so I am. So I think it's just we're relieved too, at the same time that we're able to move forward with training the first responders, absolutely, preparedness. And also with, of course, those that are dealing with dementia, you know, learning how to approach, I think that's equally as important, because some people become displaced, especially they get separated from their people, yeah, and that's, I can't imagine what that's like. You know, as a family member as well, you know, looking for someone that has become displaced and maybe confused and they don't know where they are or what's going on. So training our first responders in this next step is something that we're also very proud of, and hoping this really takes off. And of course, wherever I go, and when people ask about it, I push this, this preparedness guide out. You know, I feel like I'm just a guide pusher, but it's that important to me personally. I'm just like, Here, take it, whether you want it or not, like you're gonna need it. Trust me, you

Natalie: 26:54

gave this. Yeah, we shouldn't have been a hand them out while everybody was registering to vote. And honestly, oh, you're voting here. You need this guide for preparedness. No, it has nothing to do with this. But no, you really you need it. You know, I think you're right about our first responders, because they get so much training, because they are themselves, caregivers. If you think about it, our first responders are paid, and on our volunteer side are unpaid. But it's really about been that extra layer of training that allows them to see individuals with differing abilities or multiple abilities. I think that's really important. I love that you guys are going there. We'll keep following you guys and pushing that out on our site as as you develop that. And of course, make sure the guide gets out there absolutely, you know, I'm looking, I'm looking at our questions, Jay, because they make me so happy. I know, you know, I know that I've got a question here. I'm trying to think which one that really resonates with me. Jay, I'm just gonna pause first. Do you have a question that you have that's like burning right on top of you right now? Well, one

JJ: 28:00

of the things. And Mandy, I know, we talk about the commonalities between caregivers, military and any, any citizens, you know, traditional citizens, tell me why the storytelling, why that is is so important. By sharing the stories are so important.

Unknown: 28:17

Storytelling, and I will say like I love that in the role that I'm into, just as a coach and as an engagement specialist, storytelling has been a part of my background in general, as I was a poor English teacher, and I write on the side from time to time, and my mother was a storyteller, and so like, I feel like it just really resonate, resonates with me Personally, especially when I became a caregiver and that I've always been kind of told on a person like Mandy, you share a lot about your personal experience. Like, aren't you afraid to overshare with people? I said sometimes, but then just want to think that I'm over sharing. Someone else will tell me, especially if it's on social media, someone else will tell me. And you know, out of the blue, like, I really appreciate what you said the other day or what you shared, because that's been kind of bothering me lately. I felt kind of alone in that, and now I know that I'm not alone, you know, in that feeling, you know, or in that emotion. And that, to me, I think, is my, is part of my why, you know, both professionally and personally, storytelling with the Rosalynn Carter Institute is a crucial and essential. I'd call it like an ingredient in bringing caregivers together. Caregivers have been our best recruiters. They've been our best marketers, we have caregivers that very willingly throw themselves into the space in advocacy. We have caregivers that have gone to lobby at the lighthouse for us in our policy creation and as we're trying to get an office of caregiver health and implement and a lot. Like that one, Sign us up. Sign us up. And that is just, I think that's the most touching thing that when I've interviewed caregivers myself and asked them a little bit about their why, you know, and what they'd like to do to help volunteer with with the Ruslan Carter Institute, they were very passionate about sharing that, that feeling of isolation and being alone, feeling like for a lot of women, especially, and I will, I mean, I'm going to throw this out of the bus a little bit here, we feel like we're the like, the one woman Island, like I can do it all. I can do it all. I don't need anyone else's help. I don't want to bother anybody with this right now. This is very personal. I don't want to burden anyone with my problems. I don't want to reach out to anyone, because then I might be seen as as weak or like I can't handle it all, especially if I was already in a role where people looked up to me. You know, people relied on me. I'm that person, and I've witnessed that with very strong women in my family. But I come from a long line of Southern, sassy, independent women, like free thinking women, I love Southern my mother included and and that can be a that's about the blessing and a curse. I think it's sometimes for us, and that was, I mean, to be quite honest, when I've worked with caregivers, one on one, especially women, that's something that we really address head on is that that's not a weakness, to reach out for help and being able to share that story of especially success. And whether you've been in a program, you've received coaching or assistance, you've utilized a resource that is a very brave step, and I want to really hit hard on that, and how brave that is for male and female caregivers, both and pulling those male caregivers, which we're seeing more of those two stepping up to the plate and identifying themselves. I want to say stepping up to the plate. Those are the wrong words, but identifying themselves, finally identifying themselves as being a caregiver. My father was a caregiver, the primary caregiver to my grandfather, who had Alzheimer's, and I saw personally the toll that took on my father, and being able to share that experience, as well as my own personal experience, with others, it really has, I don't know, in a way, it's been kind of like self care too. It's like I've been able to share that experience and that it does, it can get better, and you do have purpose in that role. Some days it may not feel like you may kind of feel like you're just not with it, that it's not getting better. You can't see the light through the trees, you know, or through the forest, but it, it's you're going to get there, but reaching out for help is a crucial part of that, and people who have had success with that can now tell other people like, it's okay to reach out for help. It's okay to access a resource and bring someone in that's especially someone who's objective, like coming into that situation to give you insight, because, and I call it pausing for a cause too. I tell that to my kids all the time, like, sometimes we have to pause for a cause and take that breath that we need and invite someone into that space that can help us breathe a little bit better. You know, that can encourage us to breathe, to to take care of ourselves? Because I'll be honest, like I've had, I've had those weeks where my body, I've hit a wall, we're not sleeping well. And when I had that friend or that someone that basically steps forward and says, you want to get coffee, you know, this week, and then they've kind of kidnapped me, like, bring me out of my office, you know that, yeah, onto the light, you know, just like 30 minutes with someone really makes my entire week just knowing that I was just all in my feelings, and I was in a dark space there for a while, but it there is help out there, you know, like, I just have to remember that it's okay to invite people into that space and talk about what you're going through. If they're inviting themselves, especially you're not burdening that person. They're inviting themselves. They they are watching you struggle. They are wanting so badly for you to say, please, you know, say something. Help me. Yeah, and those story, those stories that are part of our advocacy that are part of our recruitment and marketing. We just want people to know like it. It does. It can get better for you, and if things feel like they're not getting better, we're going to work our way through that. We're going to problem solve and figure out what resources you're needing. And we're and I like to be real with caregivers, too real and honest. I don't like to paint a pretty picture around something that's that's. It may not feel that way to the caregiver. You have to be honest with them and be in that space with them a little bit. And I share that quote like from the tequila mockingbirds, one of my favorite novels. You know, as Atticus. A lawyer said you have to kind of walk in their shoes a little bit, crawl into their space, you know, and figure out where they're coming from. But that storytelling is just, it's a crucial component. And when we share those stories, then other caregivers, know, especially in the military family community, we can be very private versus very private. It's like no one needs to know our business, you know, but we see that that's changing now, and that I love, I love seeing that and caregivers telling other their friends and other people like, hey, the resources are out there. I had one caregiver in California who's struggling with moderate to severe brain injury with with her spouse, and just the family as a whole, was struggling, you know, to kind of stay with each other and hold space for each other. And I informed that caregiver about the shepherd program. Shepherd Center in Atlanta, Georgia, has a very intensive, very effective treatment center for brain injury. And her husband went all the way from California to Atlanta, Georgia to be a part of that program and use some of our resources with Sesame Street as well. One of the best partners I can imagine, any any agency we have, Sesame Street and their daughter was able to communicate better with those resources, with their husband, and they would share coloring pages together. They would show each other what they colored for that week and communicate, you know, their emotions and what they were feeling. And he came back, and it was just the difference. Was like, night and day. Wow.

Natalie: 36:37

You know what I will say this. I know we record here at PBS, so I'm sure our fans, our friends at PBS are like, yes, we knew sesame but like, Sesame Street does so many great things, and I love the fact that you're blending the blend of supporting the whole family and not just the individual. Because I think you have to be able to look at the whole family, because they are a unit, and so to be able to meet the needs of every member of the family, regardless of age and ability to be able to say, how can we have helped this family be live healthy and well, you know, I do. We're getting shocking my post all the time, but I do want to say like that you should you hit so many points like Gabor Mate is one of my favorite folks on the mental health side. He talks about the power of relationship and connection. And he there's a video that just I use in training that he talks about connecting with a child. And this is but this connects with a with anyone, and because relationships are the oxygen of human development, and it's just, it's beautiful thing. But he talks about, you know, I welcome you into my space. I welcome you like, that's how you build relationship with children and helping them to attach and that sort of thing. But that's the same thing, though, in caring, if you think about it, I really appreciate you saying, you know you've got that loved one who saw that you needed to be welcomed into their space and really be taken care of. And so in that kindness of 30 minutes or 10 minutes, you had that need met. And it's the power of relationship that there's no medicine like it. There's nothing, there's no medicine that can build relationship plan or that connection like, like the true relationship. So I love that. That makes me very emotional. You know, I want to, if you want to hit our last question. I mean, this is so good. I mean, we're gonna, we're gonna have Mandy come back. She doesn't know it. Mandy's gonna be a guest in Fauci. So

Unknown: 38:45

I feel like, so I was online about Sesame Street. So I was like, if you get me started, I'll

Natalie: 38:50

oh, we're bringing you back in a different capacity. We're gonna have you come back and play

JJ: 38:55

with us. She's full of just full of wisdom, that much wisdom, nuggets of information. QUESTION So engaging, how can we get involved with RCI? Yeah, what's it an easy way? I'm a caregiver. I'm listening here. What's the easiest way to to find out about RCI? I gotta get more of it.

Unknown: 39:13

Okay, well, of course. I mean, I always say, like you, just whenever you even Google Rosalynn Carter is the first thing that pops up. However, you can always email our info account, as we call it, and that's just info, short and sweet info at Rosalynn carter.org, and caregivers are always welcome to email me directly, and I think you have your my contact information will be in this email. Yes, they can email me directly for questions, as well as for how to get involved. I get very excited when it comes to caregivers who want to help with advocacy policy, and that's something I can always direct them to the right person when it comes to getting getting them connected to that you. Lobbying experience, for example, and figure out, like, how some people have more time on their hands. They love like, they will travel. They like to go out and just be present, like on those front lines. And then some people, they call and they they wonder, like, I want to be involved, but I'm, I'm still a caregiver. I'm very busy. What is the best way that I can, you know, help RCI out. And I said, You know what? The easiest way, if you have an email address, you know, I'm going to email you a list of our resources that I keep collecting. It's basically like just a shortened list of resources, of, you know, relationships that we have with other organizations. The easiest way to connect people to us, and for people to help volunteer is to help us spread our resources on it, quite honestly, spreading our resources, it just makes me feel really warm and good, you know, in fuzzy in the heart, when I have a caregiver, tell me it's like I shared these with a friend of mine who's really struggling, and they were just so grateful, you know, to know that there was help out there, You know, or there was something that they thought they had tried everything, and then I shared this with them, they're like, Oh, I didn't even know that existed. And that's exactly what I want to see happening, no matter what community that they belong in. I'm always looking for new resources, too. And so when, when I was a coach, especially when caregivers would tell me, like, have you heard about this retreat for a military you know, wives and husbands and for families, and they pay for the I'm like, No girl tell me. I'm like, and I'd go home and tell my husband's like, did you know about this? And he was like, No, that's really cool. And I would tell him, so just because I'm a coach doesn't mean I know any and every resource that's out there. So we're always wanting to hear about these new resources. And if, especially when there's a caregiver who has a specific or unique need, and say, it may be a marriage retreat that they're needing, they need to reconnect, for example, step away, out of that role for a little bit, and be wife, you know, like be husband and wife. That's that's exactly what I'm looking for from from caregivers, and for people who simply want to share with me, or they want to share the resources we already have with other people and say, Hey, did you know about this? Like, did you know about the RCI? Did you know about this disaster guide? Did you know that they still have these workshops for Dementia Caregivers? And when they hear about that, they're like, Wow. So we get a free guide, and especially what I like for people to know is that these resources are all free to the caregiver, absolutely free. That is the main stipulation that Mrs. Carter had in any of our programming, is that it needs to be free to the caregiver, because that is one less burden. And that was honestly, I even had a caregiver cry on the phone one time in a session, because everything that they had tried to access before, it was at a cost to them and to care that a coaching program in the that we had in the past, or that there were other programs that existed out there were completely free to the caregiver. They were just in tears because they were at that point, they were so strong thin that they didn't know what else to do. And to hear that just it was free, was just this the source of relief to them. That's right, and that's and that alone is just great. Well, I'm

Natalie: 43:24

going to tell you I'm glad that that's actually where we're going to end that there, because I'm also going to remind folks that the RCI is a nonprofit, and you have a choice of where you give back in the community, and so if you would like to donate, you can also go to the website and you can donate to support so that those resources remain free to caregivers, because you never know when you'll need those resources. And so I'm going to tell you, everyone should have the preparedness guide. Everybody, everybody's going to get that. Like, I'm like, the Oprah right now, you're welcome for this Oprah. It's

JJ: 43:58

going to be, obviously, you get a guide. Yeah, you get a guide. Some of your resource package, yeah.

Natalie: 44:01

Everybody gets it. And so I think, you know, these are the things that I heard you say, you know, you know, the storytelling piece was so important because it's so impactful, and that's what we're doing here. This is what the podcast is about. We tell stories and we have our shared experiences that you've got info at Rosalind, I say Rosalyn, because that's what happens. Appalachia. Appalachia, Rosalynn Carter, mom.org we have resources on their website. We're going to make sure you guys have that. We're going to make sure that you have links to the guide preparedness and dementia caregiving and yeah, and I think we'll make sure that everybody has access to this information, regardless of where you live. It does not matter, because caregiving, regardless of what country, what area and the country that you live in, that is a shared experience. And will all be the four kinds. We will all be four kinds at some point in our life, probably. And so, because I can tell you, I have been i. Them, and Lord knows I will be I feel like I'm looking at JJ, thinking, I will probably take care now. I'm gonna take care of

JJ: 45:05

me. I'll have to be your character. Mandy, thank you so much for joining us today. You are excellent, an excellent representative for Rose. And

Natalie: 45:14

thanks to our sponsors. So when I give out the laundry list of our sponsors, because they're so awesome at CBS health. We've got tena, we have Norwegian Cruise Line, we have Ford

JJ: 45:25

health. We have summit behavioral healthcare, which also tactical recovery, tactical recovery,

Natalie: 45:31

and the Fisher House Foundation. And then we have about 15 other educational organizations. We only had room for five this year, and but we but go to the website, check out all of our other partners. They are fantastic, and we'll be making sure that you've got that information. So guys, I guess I'm going to leave us again until we confess again. Thanks for listening to into our special series, heroes caring for heroes on Confessions of a reluctant caregiver podcast. We will see you next time bye, bye. Well, friends, that's a wrap for today's educational episode. Thank you for listening to our special series, heroes, caring for heroes, and don't forget to visit our website to sign up for our monthly newsletter. Sign up for the free sisterhood advantage discount club, and, of course, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tiktok, Twitter and Pinterest. You'll also find a video recording of all our episodes on the confessions website and our YouTube Channel. We'll see you next time when we confess again. Till then, take care of you. Okay, let's talk disclaimers. We are not medical professionals and are not providing any medical advice. If you have medical questions, we recommend that you talk with a medical professional of your choice. As always, my sisters and I at Confessions of a reluctant caregiver, have taken care in selecting the speakers, but the opinions of our speakers are theirs alone. The views and opinions stated in this show are solely those of the contributors and not necessarily those of our distributors or hosting company. This podcast is copyrighted, and no part can be reproduced without the express written consent of the sisterhood of care LLC, thank you for listening to The Confessions of a reluctant caregiver podcast. Applause.