Navigating Younger Onset Dementia: Insights from a Youth Advocate Olivia and Patti from Lorenzo's House

This episode highlights the impactful work of Lorenzo's House, supporting youth and families dealing with younger onset dementia. Featuring Olivia Compton, a 15-year-old youth leader, and Patti LeFleur, who leads the organization's youth programming, the discussion delves into empowering young caregivers.

Olivia shares her journey, explaining how she found support and community through Lorenzo's House after her father was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia. She describes the transformative impact of the organization's "light club" groups, which provide a safe space for young people to connect, share experiences, and learn mindfulness techniques. Patti elaborates on Lorenzo's House's three core programs - the match, clubs, and youth summit - all aim to combat isolation, build alliances, and drive dementia justice. The discussion highlights the organization's commitment to centering youth voices and experiences and empowering young caregivers to advocate for change.

Olivia's wisdom and resilience shine through as she offers advice to other youth navigating the challenges of having a parent with dementia. The episode underscores the critical need to support caregiving youth, who often face stigma and struggle to find resources tailored to their unique experiences. Lorenzo's House emerges as a beacon of hope, providing essential services and fostering a growing community of young advocates determined to make a difference.

About:

Olivia:

Olivia, a 15-year-old 9th grader, is a vital part of Lorenzo's House. After her father's Lewy Body Dementia diagnosis, she found community in the Teen Light Club and served as a Youth Lead at the 2023 and 2024 Youth Summit. Olivia leads mindfulness sessions, openly shares her story, and warmly welcomes others. A talented pianist, cellist, and choir singer, she enjoys video games, reading, crafts, and anime. Passionate about helping peers through similar challenges, Olivia cherishes the connections and friendships she's built at Lorenzo's House.

Patti: 

Patti is the former carepartner to her mom, Linda, who had younger-onset dementia - and a former elementary educator of over 10 years. Patti designs and leads our youth programming with intentionality, knowledge and love. Her capacity to connect with family members through lived experience and profound generosity of spirit sets the tone for how Lorenzo’s House shows up for families. Patti has a Masters Degree in Instructional Leadership and is a Certified Dementia Practitioner, has spent countless hours volunteering with people living with neurocognitive disorders, and as a community educator for the Alzheimer’s Association.

Social Media: 

Website: https://lorenzoshouse.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lorenzoshouseofficial/

Instagram: https:

Transcript

Natalie: 0:00

Kristen daukas, Hey guys, it's your favorite. Sisters here with the Confessions of a reluctant caregiver. Podcast. On the show, you'll hear caregivers confessing the good, the bad and the completely unexpected. You're guaranteed to relate, be inspired. Leave with helpful tips and resources and, of course, laugh. Today's episode is part of our special series, caregiving youth, hidden in plain sight. We're partnering with my care friends to spotlight the millions of children and teenagers worldwide who are providing care for a parent, sibling, family member or loved one. Before we start, I want to remind you to go to our website, confessions, everelectcaregiver.com and sign up for our newsletter and connect with us on your favorite social media platform. Now let's jump right in to today's youth confession. You know what's better than having one guest, Jay

JJ: 0:58

having two?

Natalie: 1:00

Yeah And do you know what's better than having two guests,

JJ: 1:06

having two guests that brought me ice cream,

Natalie: 1:08

no having two sisters that are just like us?

Unknown: 1:12

That is very, very true, guys,

Natalie: 1:14

you are listening to caregiving youth hidden in plain sight. We are so excited to be here with our guests. I'm gonna let JJ do a little introduction here in a little bit. But they are already, they already know what tomorrow looks like, and we love that, and we're so corny about it. I like, I know that our ladies are like, really, like girls. We hear this all the time, but they're in Australia. Yeah,

JJ: 1:44

I was gonna sing that song. I come from the land down under, but I decided

Natalie: 1:48

that was probably like, they would probably unfriend Well, I don't. They're not on Facebook, so I don't think they unfriend anybody. They're okay, Jay, you gotta tell us about these amazing sisters who are even more amazing caregivers, get

JJ: 2:04

ready. So we have with us Aaliyah and Nala. Ahmed. Aaliyah is 16 and Nala is 14 now, but they started caregiving at 10 and eight in 2018 their mom had a relapse of polio, and the girls really stepped up and started doing everything from cooking and cleaning to helping their mom walk and just making life easier. And they are the true epitome of caregiving. Youth. Girls, we are so happy to have you guys here with us today.

Natalie: 2:38

Okay, now just smile. Okay, that's perfect. We're happy to be here. They're like, very shy. I love it. They're coming out. Like, okay, they're coming out. Now we're coming out. Oh, see now that's what I was looking for. Okay, you guys are awesome, and I'm so we had an opportunity. I'm going to tell everybody we had an opportunity. Last time we started to record, we had a little bit of of internet problems. And I think it's just had to the internet went under the water, and it had to go through a whole time zone or 15. And so we came back tonight, and it's night for me and JJ, and it is morning for these ladies. So hopefully tomorrow is looking good. So you just you can let us know later, keep us posted on how tomorrow looks. Yeah, so let's start off with your all's kind of caregiving journey. Now I know Nala is going to take the lead on sharing about kind of how it started. So for us, kind of the listeners and your viewers, to understand, set the kind of stage for us. You guys were born and then, and then what happened? Like because you kind guys are young, so it's like, tell us a little bit about your background, and then we'll go into your caregiving side. Yeah.

Unknown: 3:49

So, like, we lived in Australia all our lives. I'm born here and everything. And we used to live in, like, a pretty big house and stuff. And then after in 718 we left my family home or our family home due to domestic violence, and then went to living in apartments. And then that's when mom had the polio relapse with all the stress of it. And then, yeah, we started like helping her around, be like helping her walk, because it just, like her walking just deteriorated over time. And yeah,

JJ: 4:28

so prior to that, had she had those relapses, Nala, or was she the polio hadn't really been visible until she had that stressful event? All right, I'm pretty sure it

Unknown: 4:39

wasn't, like, visible, honestly, a lot of people, she would say, like, I'm disabled. And people be like, What, you're disabled, like, they wouldn't see it, you know, they just see her as, like, a mobile person, yeah, yeah,

Natalie: 4:50

yeah, Mm, hmm. And that's hard for people with disabilities, mainly because, especially something like that, if it's intermittent and it. Flares up. And so let me ask you this just kind of understanding your mom's situation, I'm assuming she's had this. This has been something lifelong that she's worked with, yeah, and it flared up after. But it's different, because it was just the three of you, like the three musketeers, kind of feel, yeah, and she didn't have did you all live near family? Um, no,

Unknown: 5:23

we don't have family in Shelly. Oh, so it's just us.

Natalie: 5:26

Okay, okay, so just the three of you, well, and that makes sense, that there's no one else but you guys, yeah, and so, Nala, you were, you're the I always want to get, make sure I get my girls right. Nala, you're the youngest. Though you're younger than Aaliyah, you're the baby. And let me see this. Aaliyah, what would be some I think you probably started off on caregiving because you got two years on your sister, yeah, and so tell me what are some of the things you're 10 years old. You've moved into an apartment. You're just this you and your sister, and she's a baby nugget, she's eight, and your mom. What are some of the things that you would do to help your mom? Well,

Unknown: 6:09

we didn't really know what was going with her walking at the time. I was like, Oh, her walking just getting really bad. So I started, like, helping her, like, walk kind of and because I was like, stronger than Nala, I would always be like, No, it's fine. Like, I'll help her. And I just started doing that. And then, like, as time went on, I started doing things like helping her cook, helping her clean, and going to appointments and just stuff like that. It's just kind of

Natalie: 6:35

progressed. So you went to appointments with your mom, yeah, as

Unknown: 6:39

it like, progressed, sort of, yeah,

JJ: 6:42

so Did your mom. I just am curious. So did your mom say, Aaliyah, you're gonna have to help me, or did you feel like I just need to help my mom? Like, was that something you felt or she was like, I need you to get in here. Um,

Unknown: 6:55

no, I would just feel as if I needed to help her, because, like, she's my mom, and like she takes care of me. I'll take care

Natalie: 7:01

of that. I like that team. This is, this is team I met. I'm not gonna lie to you, it's a team. So when you went to the doctor with your mom, did you ever kind of give your opinion, like, Hey, I've seen my mom do this. Or did you ever hear your mom maybe not tell some of her symptoms, and use one to be like, raise your hand, like, at school and be like, Hey, I have something to say.

Unknown: 7:26

Yeah, I definitely do that. Now. I only started going with her two appointments, like, maybe since year nine or 10, something like that. But, like, as it progressed, I started going to more and more appointments of her, but yeah, I definitely put my hand up when I'm like, as a doctor, because I'm like, Hey, actually, like, I've seen this and I've noticed this, blah, blah, blah, blah, right, yeah,

JJ: 7:50

yeah, yeah.

Unknown: 7:52

I'm not sure when it comes

Natalie: 7:55

to doctors I'm talking about, that's what I was saying, Jay. I'm like, That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. How so, Nala, what are some of the things that you did because you were eight at the time, and how did your kind of caregiving like, what did you maybe start doing when you were littler? And what have you progressed to doing now that you're 14?

Unknown: 8:17

Like, when I was like, eight, I just helped with, like, helping her walk, like holding her arm, and like walking with her, and probably just, like, just small things, really, and then over time, you just go, like, more, like, luckily I said, go into appointments and stuff, and then like, more, like cleaning and whatever. And, yeah,

JJ: 8:39

yeah. Do you think it's made you grow up faster, like, compared to the people you're in school with.

Unknown: 8:45

I feel like it hasn't so big. Yeah,

JJ: 8:48

they're not at home doing the same thing. Yeah.

Natalie: 8:51

Nala, how do you think it's, how has this kind of made you if you, if you feel like this has made you grow up faster? Yeah, um, what do you what would you say about that?

Unknown: 9:01

I feel like I just like, say, when, like, some of the people that I know that I really like, like, they know, like, say they have, like, chores at home, like they have to do, but it's not like, these are chores, but they're not, they're not chores like you're doing this, like, just, like, help someone in need. You know? I mean, just like your parents saying, Go, near the dishes, like in your room or something, you know, and I don't know, just, I feel like I have grown up, like, a bit faster, a bit and like, more mature than them, in some ways, than others, you know, a bit. Yeah,

JJ: 9:35

I still have a question. We interviewed somebody a while back, and they said, when you have to be a caregiver, a youth caregiver, that when other friends at school, they're complaining because something went wrong and maybe they didn't get, you know, the pair of jeans they wanted, they have problems looking at them and saying that is not a problem. Like I'm having problems because my mom can't walk. Do you have that perspective? Sometimes? Times with your friends and be like, that's not a problem. How do you handle things like that? Um,

Unknown: 10:06

I mean, like, if my friends are like, about something, because then I'll be like, oh, like, that sucks. But I'll probably think myself in my head, like, yeah, that's not too big a deal. I don't think I'd actually say to them.

Natalie: 10:22

Yeah. And now, what about you? I feel like

Unknown: 10:25

it's a bit the same as well. Like, say, if my friends like, oh my god, I have to go do like, a food shopping with my dad or my mom or something. I'm like, and like, oh my god, I'm so in a bowl to go. And I was like, do you usually go? And they're like, No, but I'm just not bothered. I'm like, okay, okay. I felt like saying, like, just, like, just go with your parents. Just be there for them, you know. But like, because they don't have to do it on a regular basis, so that's just like, for them. Like, no, I don't want to do that. I feel like telling them, just, like, suck it up and go. But I'm just, I'm not like that. I'm not gonna say it to them because, you know,

JJ: 10:59

absolutely,

Natalie: 11:01

of course not. Well, you don't want to be rude, you know, but it's I would think there would be times that it would be frustrating to be like, I'm gonna tell you, when I was a caregiver, especially for my husband and I used to think, like, gosh, you know, I wish that it was a lot easier than this. I wish we didn't have to deal with this. Do you ever have those moments where you're just like, Oh, I wish we didn't have to. Do you ever get frustrated? Like, why is this happening to me? Why? Why is it? Why am I the one that has to be the one that takes care because, Aaliyah, you're also the oldest. And do you ever get those moments, and this doesn't mean you don't love your mom. Let's be really, really clear, because I can tell you, I love my husband a whole whole lot, but there were times that I'd be like, this would be a whole lot better if I didn't have to deal with this.

Unknown: 11:51

Oh yeah, I definitely like, wish that mom being disabled wasn't the case. Like, I wish that she was like, able, I mean, like she used to do and I want to show you the school do that and stuff. But unfortunately, life has dumped me some not so good cards, and I just have to play,

JJ: 12:10

yeah, tell me a little bit about school, Nala, I'll start with you. And I want, I want to know both of you tell me, because I know there are some days that you you're not able to get to school, or you're late for school, do your teachers know what's going on? What? What does the school do? How do they handle that?

Unknown: 12:30

Um, so it took a while for them to, like, properly understand what was going on. Like, they just like, at one point they're just like, no not having it. Like, you're still going to get attention for being like, until, like, my mom kept calling and saying, like, look, I'm disabled. My daughter's a carers for me, like that, like, if, like, she has a fall or something, or she might take a little bit longer to, like, get up because, like, she might be in pain or whatever, and then, yeah, we're gonna be late for school. And, like, she tried telling them they're not like, now they're more understanding, but otherwise, from like previous years, they have not been understanding very much.

Natalie: 13:08

Well. We were talking about school the last time we met, and Nala, I know that you had mentioned that school hasn't always been the easiest, and not because necessarily academics, but teachers kind of understanding and giving you some grace, because there are times that you had to stay home for your mom, even getting in trouble. So what was that? Can you share, like, what that was like and what happened?

Unknown: 13:36

Um, yeah, so it was especially at actually the start of, like, year seven, I used to get detentions for coming, like, to school quite a bit, and a lot of, like, absences or whatever. And then my mom was, like, had enough, and she's like, kept calling them and saying, like, my daughter's a carers for me. Like, they can't help being late. It's not their fault. Like, they like, personally choose to, like, Come, like to school unless, like, I had a hard time coming out of the bed, or like she wanted to fall, or been in a pain in her leg that day or something. So yeah,

JJ: 14:10

do you feel like, Are there any teachers, Aaliyah, or any adult there in the school system that you can go to and depend on? If you need to explain that if someone's giving you grief, that you can be like, I need to talk to somebody and tell them, not

Unknown: 14:25

really. It's only been this week, actually that the teachers have actually kind of had some sympathy for it, or, like, any understanding at all. But before it was just like, no one I could go to, I would just like, go home to my mom. I'd be like, can you call this school? Because, like, I'm not getting through to them.

Natalie: 14:48

Wow, that's gotta be frustrating. What would you want teachers to know? What would you want teachers to know, or to even ask you? So I'm gonna start. With Aaliyah, what would you want teachers to know and to ask you? And then Nala the same question to you,

Unknown: 15:07

Well, I would just want teachers to know that every day is like, different. For me, it's like, one day things can be like, completely fine, and then the next day can be like, Oh, I'm gonna be late because something happened. Like, it's not just like, oh, I can give them warning that something's gonna happen. Like, it's not like that. I just they could know that it's just hard sometimes, and I'm always gonna be at school on time, and I just want them to ask me when I'm late sometimes, hey, like, Was everything okay, did something happen? And then I could explain to them, and I just hope they'd understand. Yeah,

Natalie: 15:47

that seems like a reasonable request, because we've got teachers listening, so like all over the world are listening, is what our goal is. So we want the adults to to better understand what you guys need. And so, Nala, what would you ask of your teachers? I

Unknown: 16:03

would, like, let me tell you, like, what's going on, and, like, get them to understand it fully, and just keep on them until they understand it. Because, like, it seemed to me before, like it wasn't going through to them. And like Aaliyah said, like, every day is so different. You can't, like, predict the future. You don't know what's going to happen, you know. I mean, like, one minute could be like, Fine, in the next minute, she's like, Oh, actually, no, sorry, I can't take you to school, you know. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Natalie: 16:29

Do you have the bus? Like, we had a bus growing up, and if we didn't, if we didn't catch the bus, we got in trouble because our parents had already gone to work, and so we'd be like, oh, did you all have the option to take the bus, or, like, the school bus, or public transportation, because I don't know how you guys get to school, or if your mom technically has to take you,

Unknown: 16:49

we do sometimes get the bus to school. Let's make it easier for mom and she's having like, a hard week, which is like, just take the bus, but yeah, the bus, like, it's just, like a public bus, not a school bus. Okay,

Natalie: 17:02

so it is public transportation. So that's interesting. You know, Jay, we're gonna take a break, really. Then I have a question when we come back. Oh, and then Jay, she's got a question. I have a question. I feel like they should get to ask us questions at some point. I know we've got like, 30 questions. Okay, we'll be right back. I don't know about you, but my inbox is always cluttered with useless emails. But there's one I always open the Confessions of a reluctant caregiver newsletter. You may say, Natalie, what makes yours so special? Well, I'm biased, but don't just take my word for it. Here's what our subscribers say they love first, it comes once per month, and you can read it in under five minutes. Next, you'll find amazing tips and resources to use in your everyday life. And who doesn't love a recommendation these sisters do, which is why we share sister approved products and discount links to save you time and money. And of course, your first to know about the upcoming month's confessions, just like our show, you're guaranteed to relate, be inspired, leave with helpful tips and resources. And, of course, laugh. Go to our website, Confessions of a reluctant caregiver.com. To sign up for our newsletter today. You

JJ: 18:23

Hey everybody. We're here with Aaliyah and Nala. They're in Australia, and they are caregiving youth, taking care of their mom. So here's my question, we're talking about school, we're talking about teachers, and sometimes they don't understand you're having trouble getting to school. But tell me about your life, because every day is different for you. But tell me, is there time for you to do things that regular teenagers would do? Do you get to play? Nali? You want to start? Oh, wait, whoever

Unknown: 18:55

like I feel like I do still get to do like normal teens. Teenager would do like I still hang out with my friends sometimes, you know, but it's very hard to plan hanging out with my friends, not due to mum, disability or anything like that, because, like, she'll take me anyway. It's just hard to, like, plan and stuff. Yeah, I still got go out and whatever. Like, say, mainly, we still go out places, like, just recently, a bit, yeah, yeah.

Natalie: 19:19

What about you? Aaliyah,

Unknown: 19:21

yeah, I feel like I still get to do like, the things normal teenagers do. Like, I get to hang out with my friends after school sometimes, unless mom's, like, really, really bad or like, she has an appointment that I will, like, go to with her. And then, like, I can be like, oh, sorry, I can't hang out. But other than that, like, I literally get to do anything that a normal teenager would do, and I'm very grateful for that.

Natalie: 19:43

Oh, I like that. Yeah, that's really cool. So who is the lead caregiver? Would you guys say? Is there one that takes on more than the other? Or do you guys try to split it? 5050, 5050,

Unknown: 19:54

I can lead you at 5050, yeah,

Natalie: 19:57

I like that. I'm going to tell you, if you guys are listening to this. Yes, these girls look like they're twins. So they do so much alike. And the more that I look at them, I'm like, Oh, I see the differences. So tell me about let's talk about relationships with your friends. We're not getting to the boys yet, but see, I said now is laughing because I was like, and so we're gonna go with your friends and so tell me about what your relationships are like with your friends. Do you talk to them about the helping your mom, or do you just try to compartmentalize it, which is a big word for just kind of push it off to the side and I ignore it for a while. So Aliyah, why don't you start, um,

Unknown: 20:41

basically, I don't talk to my friends about my caregiving role much, but I do tell them, like, oh, Senior School gonna try and give me a detention because, like, I was like, but I don't care. I was caring for my mom. Like, what do they expect? I'm just gonna leave her there. No, that's not happening. My friends are like, Yeah, you tell them you do that. Go.

Natalie: 21:03

Okay, that's hilarious. Do you think that they understand a little bit just having been friends with you for a while? And do you, how did they try to support you?

Unknown: 21:14

Um, they just kind of be like, Oh, don't worry. Just like, go tell them you can do it. Like they're like, that. They're more like, giving me, like support. They're just like, you can do it, you know, being very supportive with friends.

Natalie: 21:28

Gotcha, yeah, hey, Nala, how about you tell me about your friends?

Unknown: 21:32

Um, so, so like about I can probably count on one hand the the friends that actually do know, like, what's probably going on with my mum, but like other friends, like they do understand it, but that, like they don't properly understand it as well. Like they'll say to me, Oh, do you want to hang out after school or something? Or, like, hang out whenever? And I'm like, oh, sorry, that day I have to go to an appointment with my mom. Like, why can't she just go by herself? I'm like, No, I have to be there for her, you know. And just, why can't she go? Well, Why can't your sister just go with her? I'm like, no, sorry, I have to be there because I just, I tried explaining to them, like, why I have to be there, and they just still don't get it. I'm sorry. Okay, okay, buddy. Okay.

JJ: 22:12

So I know you guys are part of the program in Australia, little dreamers, and so when you're talking with other people that are your age and they also are carers. Do you feel like they are more apt to understand like you guys can talk to tell me about that. So your relationship with your regular friends versus the people that you've met that are actually carers? Tell me how different that is, or how it's different

Unknown: 22:39

they seem like they understand more because they're all also carers, and like they know what it's like to have to give up time to care for a family member. And yeah, I feel like they definitely would have better understanding

JJ: 22:58

of that. Do you think when you were able to share that sometimes, Aaliyah that helps you, that you can kind of get it off your chest. If there's something you've had a really bad day and you want to tell somebody, you know, my mom, I've had to it's a hard day. If you can share that with somebody, does that help? Or, um,

Unknown: 23:13

I actually find it better if I don't talk to people about my stuff, actually. I mean, like, if I'm upset that, like something that happened to mom. Like, I think telling people that just gets me more angry and whacked up. Like, if I were that's

Natalie: 23:29

interesting, like, oh, oh.

Unknown: 23:31

Like, my mom had a fool today. It was really bad. And like, I'm really worried, blah, blah. Like, talking about it would probably make me more worried and better off. Like, I'm doing something to distract myself, like hanging out with friends

Natalie: 23:44

or doing something like that. Okay, that's interesting. That's important. We heard that. That's something similar. Nala, how about you, babe, I

Unknown: 23:51

feel like it's better because like, they do understand like Lou said, they understand more. Like, if you just say like, they just understand better. They just like, they get you they're in the same position as you. So do

Natalie: 24:03

you all share tips and tricks to doing things? Nala, do you all share like, Hey, I had a really hard time doing this, and somebody says, Oh, I did like this. So what are some of the tips and tricks that you all have given to each other, like me and Leo, or even that you've learned at little dreamers? What are some and from other, from other youth cares. What are some tips that you all have shared with each other about how you do things like,

Unknown: 24:28

we all like, there'll be times where we just, like, all sit down and, like, talk about like things to like, I guess, like, calm us down a bit. I don't know. I don't know how to explain, but it's like listening to music, or like doing something that like you enjoy, like going for a walk or whatever, yeah, just like trying to clear your mind, yeah. Is

Natalie: 24:47

that your go to Nala? Is it going for a walk or listening to music? Is there? What are some of the things that help you when you feel stressed,

Unknown: 24:54

just sitting down and using my phone honestly? Okay?

Natalie: 24:59

Distraction. Question. Okay, so I know that you're already following us, right? You're just looking at our you're you're following me and my Beagle right behind me. I'm sure my daisy, but I don't know that you guys are on Facebook. So Aaliyah, what are some of the strategies that you use when you feel kind of stressed? What do you do to help kind of get back to center.

Unknown: 25:23

Uh, listen to music, really. Yeah,

Natalie: 25:27

is it Taylor you can tell me if it's Taylor Swift, you can,

Unknown: 25:31

um, it's more rock music.

Natalie: 25:34

It's more rock music. Yeah, yes. Okay. Who is your Okay? Wait a second, who's your favorite

Unknown: 25:40

band? Uh, it build Japanese bands.

JJ: 25:43

There you go. Yes,

Natalie: 25:45

is that? What is it that BTS? Is it that cute little boy band? Korean? Oh, that's that shows you how hip I am. I'm 48 and super white over here. Now they're both laughing and covering their mouth because they know I see, I just call it the way it is, girls. I'm like, okay, yeah. So what's what? Okay, so let's see if we can call out the band, and then we'll tag them on this episode. So what is your favorite band? Aaliyah? My

Unknown: 26:13

favorite band would probably be Victoria. Okay, it's a very good band. I like all of their music. I like all of their albums. I think they're really good.

Natalie: 26:23

Are they cute by chance?

Unknown: 26:25

Uh, no, really,

Natalie: 26:30

that's okay. I mean,

Unknown: 26:33

very cool. They're cool. That's

JJ: 26:35

different, that's different. So do you black? Do you play the music really loud, Aliyah, or do you pop in some earbuds? Um, yeah.

Unknown: 26:42

Like, loud with my um, like, yeah, yeah, as well. I play loud on the TV.

Natalie: 26:51

That's funny. All right,

JJ: 26:53

what's your band go to?

Unknown: 26:55

Yeah, um. I like, Okay, wait, let me think, okay, um, I like Rihanna music. Love it. Love it. Yeah, I look, I love the weekend. He's really good. I think that's it, to be honest. I don't know. I just, I just go with it like, whatever's Good,

Natalie: 27:12

good, whatever's good, it's good. Earlier,

Unknown: 27:15

I just realized they actually my favorite because that bit out that they're not, they're not my favorite band, my actual, my actual favorite band. I was thinking about. My favorite band is called singers high they are Japanese band. Yeah, I love them a lot. Okay, all right,

JJ: 27:32

so we had a runner up now. So we now, we have a first

Natalie: 27:34

now, we now. I mean, this is pretty significant. I'm pretty stoked about this. I'm gonna lie to you.

JJ: 27:39

So, Nala, do you? Aliyah, you're you like to listen to music. What do you do when you need to take a breath, like, when you need to step out, if something's you're like, I need to chill. So I know you hang out with friends. What's another go to for you? Like, what are other things you do

Unknown: 27:51

other than hanging out with friends? Or probably, like, I don't know, just, seriously, just watch music videos.

Natalie: 28:00

I mean, because that's what I keep hearing, is like, you guys are like, normal teenagers. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, you got some caregiving responsibilities, but you're like, I'm not letting this define me. I'm still gonna have my childhood. I'm still gonna listen to Japanese bands. So yeah, I mean, that totally makes sense. What would you I'm gonna I'm gonna throw a question at you guys. What message would you like to share with other young people who might find themselves in a caregiving role? Nala, you go first. Oh,

Unknown: 28:40

I don't know, just like, try and find things that will, like, relax you and calm you down, and don't let it like, get you too much. You know what I mean? Like stressing about it too much, and try and see if there's like, help, like, not help as such, but help, you know, like organizations, like little dreamers, you know that can be there for you and like you're not alone. There's like other people in your situation as well. Because I know you'd probably feel like you're like, like you're the only one going through this, even though you're not. There's like a whole, like group of people that are as well.

Natalie: 29:18

So Aliyah, what advice would you give to other caregivers who don't even what would you what advice?

Unknown: 29:24

Try and find some support systems, like organizations like little dreamers or stuff in their own country, that they can link up with. And also, if you can share your problem, like with your friends, if they understand that, I feel like that'd be really good, or, like, even talking to maybe another adult that you trust about it, because, like, I don't want anybody to be alone. You know what I mean? Like, everyone should have somebody

Natalie: 29:52

to talk to. I really respect that. Because nobody, I think that's the hardest part about caregiving, regardless of whatever what age you. I think you can feel super alone, like nobody understands, nobody gets it, and you know, and it's not. And again, that's the thing. What I hear from you guys saying is, I hear you like, I love my mom. I love my mom. I'm not sacrificing my mom. And at times I think, but it's also you're also both. Things can be true. It's also hard. And you can be like, Oh, sometimes it sucks. And so, so let me ask you this, when did you guys get connected to little dreamers? How did you find out about them and, like, what are some of the things that you do with them?

Unknown: 30:33

My mom saw an ad about them when I was homeschooled in 2021, and she said to me, another one day, you know what you guys do? You guys are actually, actually, like, carries for me. I was like, actually? And she's like, Yeah, actually. I was like, okay, um. And then she was like, um, there's, like, this organization that, like, um, give support to children who are caring for, like, a family member and be really good for you girls? And I was like, Okay. And then it's after that that I realized, wow, I'm actually a carer. Yeah, we do things like go on the whole holiday programs. Like one time they took us to the movies. They take us on camps. It's really cool. Oh, what's

Natalie: 31:23

your favorite thing at camp? And then now I'm gonna ask you the same question, what's your favorite thing at camp? Aaliyah, Oh,

Unknown: 31:30

good question. I think I liked on the racing camp. I went on a night walk with my friend. That was the best. Oh,

Natalie: 31:38

you went on a night walk with your friends like, oh,

Unknown: 31:48

with one of the team leaders say it was fine.

Natalie: 31:52

Oh no, almost called you out. That was funny. Okay, I love the two of you guys, because I would do this to JJ and Emily, I would totally do this to them. Okay, so now what? So, what about little dreamers? What are some of your favorite things that you really enjoy doing, and how has it helped you? Honestly,

Unknown: 32:12

I like the camps, yeah, just, yeah. They're just really fun. Like, good to like, just let me away. Look, I don't know. Like, it's good to get out, you know? I don't know.

Natalie: 32:25

Well, what? Okay, so what? Okay, so, I know you're struggling to describe it. What are things that you do at camp? Like, because people don't know what camp is. I don't have a clue what camp is. Yeah,

Unknown: 32:36

like on the racing camp that we went to, we did like, lots of activities. Then we did, like, some talking about our caring roles. Yeah, I guess Leah, I don't know, we did a vertical challenge, which is where you're upwards on like these wooden things, like ladders and stuff. But, yeah,

Natalie: 33:00

but she just leaned over.

Unknown: 33:06

I was so bad.

JJ: 33:09

Laugh at yourself, and that's so fantastic. That's what matters. So like, um,

Unknown: 33:14

I think there's, I don't know how many like levels there were. I got off to the first one, and I was like, I'm done. And the guy was like, No, I reckon you can go more. I was like, I reckon not. But I

JJ: 33:26

said, let me ask you a question, because some of our again, we always want to we talk to a lot of different people, so some people worry when they have to leave that loved one that they normally care for. How do you guys handle that? Do you talk to your mom while you're gone, or who's caring for her, then how do you guys handle being away from your mom?

Unknown: 33:45

I text her, like, sometimes, if I'm on camps and stuff, it does worry me that, like, oh, like she's by herself, if something goes wrong, then, like, he's gonna help her, like, we know, like her only carers. So like, that does worry me. But then at the same time, I'm like, Well, I have to, like, go out and do my own thing as well, and I can just only pray that she's fine. And if she's not, she knows she can call me,

Natalie: 34:12

yeah. It

JJ: 34:13

sounds like she encourages it. It sounds like she's the one that found little dreamers. So, yeah,

Natalie: 34:18

yeah. Well, and she wants you to, Jay, we're gonna take a break real quick, okay, and we'll be right back.

JJ: 34:26

If you like confessions, we have another podcast we'd love to recommend the happy, healthy caregiver podcast with Elizabeth Miller as a fellow Whole Care Network podcaster. We love how Elizabeth chats it up with family caregivers and dives into their caregiving and self care strategies, just like us. Elizabeth believes that family caregivers are the experts in caregiving. Beyond the informative conversations, Elizabeth reveals the tried and true resources and practical self care tips that empower caregivers to prioritize their health. And happiness. You can find the happy healthy caregiver podcast wherever you download your favorite podcast, or go to the website at Happy Healthy caregiver.com Hey everybody, we are back here with Aaliyah and Nala, the sisters from Australia.

Natalie: 35:18

They're our next generation of podcasts. They

JJ: 35:20

are. They're the next generation of podcasts. They're

Natalie: 35:22

gonna be like, You should totally have your own podcast where you all are just like, let's talk about Japanese boy bands.

JJ: 35:29

That's true.

Natalie: 35:30

Let's talk about our favorite bands.

JJ: 35:33

So you guys are, you're growing up. I mean, you know you're not well, you're still puppies, as Natalie would say, Yeah, this

Natalie: 35:39

one pup is 16. I mean, she's six years away from graduating from like, High School. Look at her. She's like, that's me. So

Unknown: 35:45

tell me.

JJ: 35:46

Tell me like you're gonna be charis, because your mom is always she may always have these flare ups. It may be, you know, it's a lifelong thing. But tell me, has this done anything to what you think about your future, what you're going to do for jobs or careers or school like, what do you think you want to I say what I want to be when I grow up. I still don't know. Aaliyah, but

Natalie: 36:06

what they do not know. And she's 50, yeah,

Unknown: 36:12

it's fine. You don't look 50.

JJ: 36:14

Thank you.

Natalie: 36:16

Thank you, Alia, that's I know what that means. So Leah, what are you thinking about your future? That's what I was. I was actually, I'm glad you asked that question, Jay, like, how has this influenced you and will influence your future?

Unknown: 36:27

Um, I don't think my caring wall has influenced my future very much, but I know that I definitely want to, like, own my own business, whatever that may be. I'm not sure yet, but I know I want to own my own business. I want to study business as like a subject at school. And then after that, I'll probably like, leave school and do a business course, probably, and, yeah, just learn about how to like, get your products out there, how to like, get people to manufacture it in like, factories and stuff, yeah, wow.

Natalie: 37:03

That's okay. That's pretty

JJ: 37:04

cool, manufacturing and everything. I was like,

Natalie: 37:07

wow, distribution. She's international distribution. Chloe, she's gonna go to Japan, and we're gonna get her connected with Debbie, our friend who does marketing, yeah, in Japan. She, she was an American who and she lives half the time over in Japan, and she knows all the tricks. She would be really cool. Debbie, I know you're probably listening to this, she would be really cool for you to talk to, because she does marketing, and she does products and all kinds of cool stuff. She's we think she's really cool. So Nala, what do you see your future looking like? I mean, yes, you're a little younger, at 14, but like, I know you all that little dreamers, because I love the name of it is things, has you thinking about your future so that you're not kind of stuck right here in the now, what do you see yourself?

Unknown: 37:53

I want to like, like, as in Job, or, yeah, or

Natalie: 37:57

career, or going to college or anything. Um,

Unknown: 38:00

I want to go to uni, definitely. I wanted to do like, but not for like, maybe until I'm like, my early, or like, mid 20s on and be like, trady, a bit, like, building and stuff, yeah, probably. But then, like, after that, I don't know, like, wait for longer, like, when I'm older, I'll figure that out.

Natalie: 38:18

I really don't know. You're totally allowed to say that, yes, yeah. Do you think you go into a caregiving type profession, though, or do you think I want to do the opposite of what I've been doing? I see Aaliyah shaking her head like, not today. I

Unknown: 38:31

don't want to be a nurse. Yeah, I don't

Natalie: 38:33

want to be a nurse. I don't be a social worker. I feel like Aaliyah maybe has a blood issue.

Unknown: 38:41

I don't think I could, like, care for my mum and care for someone else I don't know. Like, also, I've heard people, like, talk about how, like, they work in, like, elderly homes, and they came from the elderly people, and like, they passed away, and like, they're really attached, almost, like, No, there's no way I could do that

Natalie: 39:03

well, and that's okay, because I'm gonna tell you, I mean, I'm a social worker, but there are very specific people I prefer to work with. I prefer working with kids, and because I like hanging out with kids, and I like shooting ball and all that stuff. So Nala, do you think that you would ever go into like do you think going into something like that a helping profession even, and that's okay?

JJ: 39:29

I think building and stuff like that, she's gonna

Natalie: 39:33

be an architect. I mean, she could be in housing. You said building more a leader.

Unknown: 39:43

Be an interior designer. I want to be an interior designer, and then I want to be an architecture and then I want to be an animator, and now I just want to own my own business. That's like me. I change what I want to be like every two seconds. That is

JJ: 39:55

okay. I do as well. I do as well. Personal

Unknown: 39:57

Trainer. Oh, yeah. Now. I haven't, and I'm studying a sports and recreation course, but like, I'm gonna leave that no,

Natalie: 40:08

that is, that is, that is actually, that's actually really funny. Let me ask you this, do you all get to do any kind of like advocacy, where you talk to other adults and say, hey, we'd love for you to change this or make this more available to us as young carers,

Unknown: 40:28

not really, but I feel like if we talk to someone about like that, like our school or something, maybe in the past probably would have 400 years. Yeah,

Natalie: 40:39

yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let me ask you this. What do you think this is a, this is a big girl question here. What do you think is the biggest misconception about young caregivers? What do you think the adults don't like? They think of one way, and you're like, it's not like that. Well,

Unknown: 40:57

firstly, I think that they think, Oh, you just like, have to do all your tasks and then you're done. But like, it's not like that. Like, I had one teacher tell me on the phone, well, can like, you, like, do all your tasks that you have to do today, so then you're like, back at school tomorrow. I said, like, it doesn't work like that. And she's like, let Aaliyah, let's be realistic. You're not going to be like, on top of your mom all day, and I'm like, that's not how it works. I would just take all the things I have to do for her in a day and just do them all at once, then go to school. I would, but that's not how it works. That

Natalie: 41:35

sounds very real. That's really real. Nala, what about you? What would you say is, like, biggest misconception, honestly, about

Unknown: 41:45

like, what we do as carers, like, they just don't understand unless you probably tell them, because everyone's situation is different. You know? I mean, there might be a few people that are like, Oh yeah, I do the same kind of caregiving role, but I've never met anyone that's like, done the same caregiving role as me and Aliyah. So it's different for everyone.

Natalie: 42:03

Yeah, that's interesting. I feel like we're getting close to that time it is, which is, it's time for Sister questions, uh huh. Are you ladies ready? Yes, when you all want to play, okay,

Unknown: 42:18

like, all right, do it? Jay?

Natalie: 42:20

All

JJ: 42:21

right. Here it is, who is the Bossy sister?

Natalie: 42:29

I can see NAMAs hand raising up. Yeah. I'm

JJ: 42:33

like, Who is the one? Go ahead. Aaliyah, Oh no, she's

Unknown: 42:36

just really bossy. She acts like she's the oldest. Stop stealing my role, my title I was on this end before you,

JJ: 42:47

yeah, I hear you, Aaliyah, as the oldest. I totally understand. Here's the deal. They just think they're in charge. That's just like Natalie. But you and I, we're really in charge, and my job is to just to keep Natalie alive. That was my job all my life, just to make sure she didn't go into jail. It's the

Natalie: 43:03

truth, Nala, it's, it's,

Unknown: 43:05

if that was

Natalie: 43:07

it. I just needed to make sure choices. Yeah,

JJ: 43:10

it was. That was my job. So it's okay, Alia, we I'm there with you. Sister, so bossy. Sister, make note of that. Natalie is siblings. I align

Natalie: 43:20

with Nala right now, because I could tell like she's got some sass and so she's all like, this is how I roll girls. Okay, I've got a couple of questions, but I think it's time to talk about boys.

Unknown: 43:34

Oh, this is gonna be a very short conversation

Natalie: 43:38

said by Nala. I'm telling you, okay, okay, great, because we have this boy in the UK that we would love to introduce you to. So seriously, though, do you feel like, okay? No, okay. Aaliyah, you never had a boyfriend. Nala, boyfriend, no. Boyfriend,

Unknown: 44:02

no boyfriend. I go to a girls school. Yeah, we go, Oh, girls club. Every house will dress the time. Okay,

Natalie: 44:09

so it's hard to meet boys. Then Gotcha. So do you? So do you get to meet boys and make friends at little dreamers, at least? And you got other guys there, and you're like, oh, okay, so this is pretty this is what you go through. Yeah, you did not tell me you go to a girls school.

Unknown: 44:29

Also, one secret, they tried to act like their private school, but they actually public school. We can't hear you. We can't talk louder. Some of the changes. Act like it's a private school, but it's not a private school, like, super fancy, but, like, No, it's

Natalie: 44:50

okay. And the last, last question, because I know you girls, got to start camp, okay, what is your favorite? And this is what the big, big adults say, guilty. Pleasure. So what is your favorite, favorite thing to do that you just do for you? Aaliyah,

Unknown: 45:09

I'd say probably going out on walks or like being my mom to let me go

Natalie: 45:19

to the city. So begging your mom to go to the city, yeah, tell me go to the city I love. Do you get to go by yourself? Yeah? Do you get to go by yourself? Yeah? Wow.

JJ: 45:28

What do you do if you get there? That's my question. Are you a shop? What do you do? Go to cafes or what do you do? I

Unknown: 45:32

go to Melbourne Central, which is like a shopping center, the big shopping center, yeah, the big shopping center in the middle of the city. And it's really fun. And I also like walking through the Botanical Gardens. Oh, I

Natalie: 45:47

love that I found

Unknown: 45:49

when I was at the Botanical Gardens. Oh, I found like this thing, and it looked like this temple, like in another country or something. I was like, I think I got teleported to another country. I will be there, and it's all about like World War One and World War Two. I have a great, great, great grandfather who was in World War Two, or actually no World War One. My bad one was in World War One, and I said, I'm going to try and find his name on this thing. Was like a system, yet had all the soldiers names on it. And when you find like your relative, you can put like a digital Poppy next to their name. And I searched his name, finally found it like it took me 10 years of scrolling and I said, I put a digital Poppy next to his name. That's going to

Natalie: 46:39

be the that I love that. Okay, Nala, what is your favorite thing to do that you do just for yourself. It's

Unknown: 46:48

sort of like just for myself, but like, I'm with mum and Leo most of the time, honestly, just like going to the shopping center, you know? Yeah, I love going there.

Natalie: 46:56

So both of you all are shoppers, is what you're saying. We're

Unknown: 47:00

at the shopping center a lot, at least once a week. We're at High Point, like, at least once a week. Oh yeah,

Natalie: 47:09

what's your favorite store? You all are both looking up at the same time. Your mannerisms are almost exactly so what do you think like? Where like, is your favorite place? Like, if you go to the mall, you're like, I'm hitting this place every time. Yeah, what is it? Yeah, that's

JJ: 47:39

the shopping center. Yeah. We're like, Yeah,

Natalie: 47:42

yeah. We're like, that, Oh, yeah. JJ and I so here's the thing. JJ and I love the same stores, and this shirt that I have on, she has it too. And we live in different cities, and we will, we have walked in before, we'll be like, don't we got the same outfit on, and so we do look a little ridiculous, so you're welcome for that. Well, girls, I know that you all have to start your camp, so I know it's a little after 10 your time, and we have had so much fun with you. We absolutely think you are amazing, and we love how you support your mom, it's very clear, and it's very clear that you all are just have bright, bright, bright futures ahead of you. Yes, so we really appreciate you being with us and so guys, until we confess again. Thanks so much for listening to the caregiving youth hidden in plain sight series. And these are all Aaliyah. Excuse me. I was putting your names together, Aaliyah and Nala from Australia. We will see you next time when we confess again. Goodbye.

Unknown: 48:52

See you, mate,

Natalie: 48:55

Well, friends, that's a wrap for today's episode. Thank you for listening to our special series, caregiving youth, hidden in plain sight. And don't forget to visit our website to sign up for our monthly newsletter. Sign up for the free sisterhood advantage discount club, and, of course, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Tiktok, Twitter and Pinterest. You'll also find the video recording of all our episodes on the confessions website and our YouTube Channel. We'll see you next time when we confess again. You.