Vantage Point Foundation

Vantage Point Foundation (VPF) is a nonprofit organization serving post-9/11 veterans and veterans’ spouses and partners across South Carolina as they transition out of military service. VPF believes that three things are necessary to fully reintegrate into civilian life: Community, Growth, and Purpose. We also think that spouses and partners are often overlooked and that providing both veterans and their spouses and partners with programs and support is necessary for the health and well-being of the family unit. 

Our programs are designed to address transition challenges, identify obstacles, and provide the support and connection that enables veterans and their spouses and partners to thrive in civilian life.

Contact Information for Organization: 

Address: 

P.O. Box 31224 

Charleston, SC 29417

Phone: (843) 790-3131

Email:

info@vantagepointfoundation.org

Social Media: The handle is: @Vantage Point Foundation for FB, Instagram, and LinkedIn. 

Website: https://vantagepointfoundation.org 
                Home - Vantage Point Foundation

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vantagepointfoundation
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vantagepointfoundation/
Linked In:  https://www.linkedin.com/company/vantage-point-foundation
YouTube: @vantagepoint3478   Vantage Point - YouTube

Transcript

Natalie: 0:03

Hey folks, welcome to our special series heroes caring for heroes on the Confessions of a reluctant caregiver Podcast. Today, we're featuring organizations who offer services and support to our hero caregivers. Now, let's listen in as we learn more about these amazing organizations. Well, good morning, Shay. Good

JJ: 0:26

morning, Natalie.

Natalie: 0:27

And how are you doing?

JJ: 0:28

I am fan tastic. Oh,

Natalie: 0:31

you know what it feels like a good day to learn about another amazing military sport educational organization. It

JJ: 0:40

does. And today, we have vantagepoint foundation with us. And they are a nonprofit organization. Yep, serving post 911 veterans, and veteran spouses and partners across South Carolina. And this is important, it's as they transition out of military service. Their programs are designed to address transition challenges, which immediately we all you know, have challenges, identify obstacles and provide this support and connection that they need in the day. So today we have with us a Catherine German, who's the Director of Operations and partner program coordinator, and Don Hoffman, who is the nurse case manager. It's important to say that they have a lot of experience in the military Cascadia was in the mail, she was not you know, she served as a spouse because I like to say that she started

Natalie: 1:35

I was gonna say she served as well.

JJ: 1:40

She, she's a reservist. She was there as a spouse for 28 years and don't was also in service as a spouse for 30 years. So these resources are experienced. So welcome, ladies.

Unknown: 1:56

Thank you.

Natalie: 1:56

I love an educational podcast. It's just like a podcast, but I put the word education in front of

JJ: 2:01

I know, I know. I live up to that. So you guys, you help with the transition, which I love. Because tell us about Vantage Point Foundation. Like tell us what, why, like, there's vantage point, tell us, you know, why you guys originated but tell us the why behind it. Why is it so important?

Unknown: 2:22

We originated as a veteran, nonprofit serving those who got out of transition, or who got out of the military. So are two of our founding members that kind of work together. One in the nursing space in helping was it was it wounded, Wounded Warrior regiment, it was basically both in active service. And this was during a heavy kind of Iraq, Afghanistan time when going, service members that were transitioning out had multiple kind of war related issues going on. And eventually the Marine Corps kind of shuts down this program, and things get limited. And the two of them kind of recognize, hey, there's this gap that exists host service out, right, and you do all the things that you have to do to transition out as you can imagine, it's government, there's a lot of paperwork, right. But I

Natalie: 3:19

don't think like you just say, I'd like to leave or retire. And it happens in 24 hours, right? Only if it's I think it takes months, doesn't it to exit the military or goodness,

Unknown: 3:32

there's all these checklists, there's all this kind of timeframe. Well, at 90 days you do this, you can imagine it. Yeah, very right. But you cross over into that threshold. And now you're, you've done all the administration administrative stuff. And now you're a veteran. So now, where do you go to get that support would talking to you about what your purpose is? Because militaries are really Purpose Driven Life? Right? You know, so what what is your purpose? What's going on with you for your health and well being in service, you have a lot of buddies the and a lot of support and resources through those connections. Where are those connections now? So we offer stuff to veterans that in depth courses and trainings, we offer that that look primarily at purpose and health and well being there all kinds of ingredients that go into that autonomy, talking about having a veteran, mentor, veteran to veteran mentor, having Don who's our case management, who can get people connected to different aspects of maybe health and well being things that are going on. So that's, that's kind of serving veterans but we were really, really lucky and this spouse partner part of this would not exist, but for one of the founding members, a lady named Kim Bradley is also a 20 plus year military spouse OSU also happened to be a nurse and knew, hey, when you have a veteran that is struggling or a veteran that is trying to find their footing, the majority of veterans are, are married or in long term committed relationships, right? So if you're going to talk about this veteran holistically, you've got to talk about that unit. And so that's why the spouse partner program, I guess, is what I'm better able to answer, which is, I'm going to get back to thinking about military, you've got this person that's transitioning, and we understand with the military person like, wow, that would be really hard, we get that we've studied that we know, there are lots of people looking at that space. But there's somebody who's simultaneously transitioning alongside that military service member, and healthcare is changing, and their life is changing, and their community is changing. And when a veteran or when a military service member gets out, they become a veteran, right? Whether they use the support and services that are connected to that, whether they take part in that community, that's up to them, but the community exists as a spouse. You're just there

Natalie: 6:16

blown to the wind grinds me with those like little fuzzy things that you blow j in the backyard that are think are weeds that are pretty dandelion? Yeah, well, I

Unknown: 6:25

think one of the things also that that makes it unique is the fact that the challenges that the military community and then the veteran community experience is different in the fact that so much of the time there was kind of a cloak of secrecy, not everybody, you know, one of the issues we had is, and I was a personal issue with our family in particular was, you know, as struggles started happening, and more and more symptoms of PTSD were popping up. Don't tell anybody about it. Let's try to get through it. And so all these people are experiencing all these same challenges and issues and problems, but there's not a name to it. And we don't want to share what's going on. Because, you know, our military members, they wanted to stay functional and relevant, and we don't want anything getting in the way of the mission. And then so not only issues happening while active duty is going on, but then the transition out, they took away the problems and don't go away. And the less people were talking about it, the harder it was getting it home. And so we're finding that as we can just sit down and say, what's happening. And you know, for my particular situation, having Kim Bradley who was one of the founders of vantage point, sitting on my couch, and talking to my husband and I and not being shocked at what we were experiencing with it the crazy behavior that was new, but that there was a name to it, and that there was a reason and a causality. And but we were starting to pull together some resources that are addressing it and just imparting some hope for people that are experiencing it. This has just given us an avenue to be able to talk about the fact that this isn't this is something that people are experiencing, and we can support that and we're not shocked by it. There are resources out there we can get you connected to and we're willing to listen and and walk alongside you with this gun.

JJ: 8:40

Was there more support when you I know that you have kind of a tribe or a feel like that's the case when you're on the basis you can build that. But when you do you lose that when you come out of the military? Do you find that those people that you've kind of left behind that stays? And that's why this resource is so important with vantage point? Absolutely.

Unknown: 9:02

Well, absolutely. We live in just a regular American neighborhood. Now, most of my neighbors are not affiliated with the military. So when, you know my husband was like, Yeah, you know, we're invited to a barbecue and he's like, I just can't go I can't deal with it. I can't deal with people and trying to explain what's going on to somebody who has not been in that space. Is it really difficult and and frustrating. And then you tend to not want to talk to anybody and you pull back and isolate a little bit and it's just unhealthy. So giving people a place to talk about it and giving people just the space and the opportunity to realize one it's happening to a lot of people you know, we're all dealing with different levels of transition stress, whether you were an active duty spouse or you connected with your veteran after that. They were in active duty, we're all experiencing some of these same challenges at home. And there is a way to connect and realize you're not alone in it. So, for me kind of going back to defining that space, and Natalie, you and I talked before about it, it's, you know, you, you get out and you're, your service member becomes the veteran, and you become the other person who's also getting out, who's also trying to find employment and trying to figure out where the kids are going to go to school, or get the kids off to college, whatever that looks like, trying to get our arms around this group, and what we were going to do and how we were going to try and serve and provide support and recognizing we can't be everything to all people, right? How do we first begin to even define this space? Because it's a space, nobody talks about? People don't talk about the other half of the veteran. Right? So how do we wrap our arms around that? We know our stories, we know what our experience has been as career military families. But, you know, how do we do this? So we kind of looked at what are the two poles, we've got this on one side, you've got this. Everything where we're out, we transitioned out, it was smooth, it was great. We bought a house, got kids in school, got job, everything's wonderful. I'm sure there's people exist. If you come across them,

Natalie: 11:26

let us know.

Unknown: 11:29

Or they're out there. And so you've got that extreme right, everything's great. It was fine. And then you've got the extreme wounded, injured, ill, I'm a full time caretaker to my military service member. And in between these two extremes is this vast, gray area. And that's the space that we don't understand that we don't know, that nobody's really studying. But what we do know is that the unit, the family relationship, the person that the veteran loves the most and who loves the veteran, most the person that advocates for that veteran more than anybody, you're going to see you're coming contact with. Right? Who's fierce? What we do know is if you're not talking about serving a veteran, and talking about those two people, and how to support both, because they need each other, and that relationship is so fundamental to health and well being that there's a gap there.

Natalie: 12:30

You're leaving one part out? You know, I think, you know, Don, what resonated with me so much is, you're exactly right. Like, I've got a lot of friends who are in the military. And I think about you I know, it's like foster parents, foster parents hanging out together, military families hanging out together, they all have, they have shared people find gravitate towards their people. And they are like minded, they have shared experiences, that sort of thing. And honestly, I could see it, I see that whole like, Okay, now we're separate. It's almost like you're breaking up. And we're separating from the family.

Unknown: 13:13

Your craziness, and you don't even have to explain it.

Natalie: 13:16

Yeah. And they know, yeah, because everybody's like, Oh, yeah, that happened. And nobody's sitting there like, whoa. And then when you go into the civilian world, and it's funny, I like how you said, you know, a normal American like a civilian neighborhood. And I think that's really funny, because I'm like, Oh, that's so totally true. Because you've been living all together, everybody, that all everybody in the neighborhoods and nobody's thinking it's, you know, like, Why does everybody have so many flags around here? Oh, it's a base. And so you know what I mean? And so I think that resonates with me, because then I could see where your husband would be like, what am I gonna talk to these people about? They haven't, you know, what, and I don't mean to sound hateful, but it's almost like yes, cute. You went to work today? Like my work look a little bit different. Oh, yeah. I know, you carry concealed look at you, well, my concealed is bigger. And,

Unknown: 14:08

and just are when he just wasn't feeling well and treacly laying the why, you know, that's the hard part. And in that community with other spouses, they, you don't have to explain why they get why and they don't take offense to it. And you don't feel like you have to explain everything. And it's a knowing and just an ability to be and there are a lot of unspoken ins, with the military spouse community. And that's again, what we try to foster is that sense of community and giving spouses even you know, we we try to even have like little regional groups, or spouses can just go be together and you don't have to explain a lot because it's theirs. It's just an understanding with each other that you don't Get everywhere else. And so we really do try to foster that within our program as well. That's one little arm that we are working on expanding just because it's so important to have that sense that somebody gets it. And you just you don't have to explain it. After I left one of the last courses that we did about a month or so later, so we brought all these ladies together, and they were primarily ladies, again, I'm sure there are the I know, there are males that are partners and spouses, that this was the course of all females. And one of the ladies call and say, you know, I just had lunch with so and so. And she had been through one of your courses. And if it wasn't for y'all, we wouldn't know each other. And it was so nice to go and have lunch and just relax with somebody who understood. And it's like, that's what we want, we want to give you the opportunity, we had that, like you say we had that on base, you make the base, and you're lost, and you're in a new place and a new city and somebody ding dongs on the doorbell or knocks or whatever, because they see the moving truck and they're like, Hey, here's your daughter's. And here's the list of where you go get your hair done. And here's the great schools and here's, you have all that help. And then you get out and you know, the neighbors across the street, see the movie, man, they don't care, they're not coming over to your door to say that's totally true. You may need software and you may not know how to find the grocery store. And you may not even know that the name save a lot is a grocery store, you know. So it's kind of trying to create that community in the same way that a veteran enjoys this space with other veterans, there are spouses that enjoy in the space with other spouses. And I know my husband and I went through a really difficult time now, John and I's relationship we knew each other had met when we were pregnant, and both pregnant with our first child without dating as to match.

Natalie: 16:53

You guys have known each other for four years. Why?

Unknown: 16:58

We met just last week. So that we met we know each other we're friends and there's an instantaneous thing to friendship and the in the military you are you instantly understand each other you intimately know the lifestyle. And I may not intimately know you, but I gotcha. So we knew each other. And as it happened through the course of the next 20 some odd years of back and forth war deployments. Every time we were arriving in a location she was leaving. So we'd get there be like, Oh, John's here. Oh, Don's going. We knew each other. So like we were hanging out all the time. But we knew each other. And then fast forward. And my husband and I hit this spot is this part where it's like, Who in the world is this person? What is happening? You expect things when they first returned back from a war deployment? Don't expect it years later. Instead of going Oh, I understand this. I know exactly what this is you you're much more likely to say this man. I'm going to ah, right kill him. Right? Yes. Can I say that? Um,

Natalie: 18:11

yes. Oh, yes. No,

Unknown: 18:13

would you hug them very hard. I'm having a really hard time. Like Don said, it is you do feel secrecy around it. You know, this is a fully functioning very together, man. And we're together family. And this weird stuff is happening. And I don't know why. I'm gonna say divine intervention. Dawn came to mind. I have no idea why she came to mind. But I signed on. I don't do anything with social media. I really don't do any of that. And y'all I was signing up for a Twitter account, because I saw Don Hoffman and I'm going to get in touch with her. This is the first time I've never tweeted ever in my life.

Natalie: 18:53

I'm mostly 20.

Unknown: 18:56

And I find her and I get her number. And I call and I say Hey, and immediately my voice starts to shake because I'm just needing somebody. And and she says, Well, hey, girl, and I was like, Is this a good place is it's a good time for you to talk. And she's like, well, I'm in an airport, we're heading to Okinawa. They were moving to Okinawa. She was in the airport, getting ready to board the plane. But she sat and talked to me and said, I remember this, you're going to be okay. It's going to be okay. So to have that and then kind of unbeknownst to either of us, neither of us was connected to vantage point at the time. There was this third connection of Kim Bradley that I didn't know Don was good friends with and she didn't know I was good friends with and as I moved to South Carolina, guess who's in South Carolina down and Randy. And guess who's working for vantage point Don Hoffman and the connection there was my good friend Kim who said hey, why don't you come to one of our spouse courses? So between this triangle of the three of us, it was like, oh my, again, kind of divine intervention. But if we can, we can have three people who understand and know and help each other in our voice for one another. There are 1000s of us out there. And it was just the connection. What? What is that connection? And what if we start talking about what that space looks like? What are bringing women together and spouses and partners and military members together and saying, you know, Hey, your health and well being matters in your connection to one another matters?

Natalie: 20:35

It is what? It's what gets us through it. Go ahead, Jay.

JJ: 20:37

Tell us I hear Dawn saying yes. Hear both of you saying, these are some of the supports. Tell us about the supports that you offer? The spouses and partners, not just the meetings, tell us about the groups tell us if I'm a spouse, or a partner that really needs tell us what I get? How do I get in contact with you? First of all, where are you? And tell us? What do I get? What do I get? What's my bras,

Unknown: 21:04

lovely t shirt, thank you for playing the wheel. Right? Right. Obviously, you can get in touch with us through vantagepoint Foundation website and get more information. We offer courses, so we'll bring spouses in and we offer a one or a two day course that's really largely focused on well being, and purpose and all of those things. And big thing is the connection to one another. The opportunity to connect with one another, we're in South Carolina, we are South Carolina specific, we serve the whole state. And then inside, outside of that, we have Dawn who can connect you to if there are other things going on, we say we're not therapist, I can help you find a therapist, if that's what you need. We're not but I can I can listen to you all day long, I will listen and the power of having somebody to sit and listen and pay attention to what you're saying and understand what you're saying. And then say, Listen, I've got some resources, here, I've got some connections I can get you with is hugely powerful. And I think, to me, one of the best things that we do. And so anyone that comes into the program, you can vantage point foundation.org is our website, you can get information on that. But if you are not within the state of South Carolina, we will get you in contact with somebody that can support you where you are. Okay. So we I don't let anybody I even work with veterans from you know, all over the place, may not specifically be able to pull them into vantage point in South Carolina, but I will get you connected where you need to be. So we don't let it slip through the cracks

Natalie: 22:54

and what you're talking about. And so for some people are like, Oh, I get that. But peer support. That's that's exactly what it is. And it's and we've talked about this on other on other podcast episodes about the power of peer support. And that's just what the mental health community names it. It's absolutely, that we just call that, you know, relationship building in normal people where it's like, I have the same experiences as you and I can empathize with you. And I can even if I don't, I can seek to understand. And I can seek to end the end simply the act of seeking to understand and not necessarily solving. Because I know Don, probably sometimes you're probably just like, because a lot of times, you know, I'll call JJ up. And we're not military, but I'll call JJ and I'm like, I don't need an answer. I just need to just word vomit. That's, and so I don't need you to fix it. And we know that men love to fix it. Sorry, guys. But and women will be like, and then what happened pour the glass of wine and let's get on. And so I think there's, there's so much to be said there. So it sounds like Information and Referral so that you can help with getting them, you know, but really, it starts with listening. It starts with seeking to understand. And then, okay, I hear these are some areas that you could use some support in. This is how we can do that for you rather, we provide it directly with health and wellbeing. And this is how you can get through it. Or I can get you connections through other organizations who we sought we we walk alongside with.

Unknown: 24:32

Absolutely, and we can't and I had the conversation as well you know, for those listening that have that have a resource that they are actively involved with or work for and you work with spouses, let us know, shoot us an email on our website and let us know so that we've got as many resources as we can compile this, this has to be a team effort. And I think there are resources out there you know, many smaller resources like vantage point, that do great work, and are small enough to really get intimate, which is another just super important aspect of it is we're not built on numbers, but really intimacy and relationships. And the more we can get that we can, you know, refer out to the better. So let us know, I think it's just, it's kind of that raising awareness, you know, that this space is important. The work with both halves of the veteran are important. Don and I were talking even within our little small community, there's another small nonprofit, nonprofit called warrior surf and they have a spouse and partner program, they start the whole family, they do different things. And we do this like, Yay, let's celebrate that. I would love to know, what are what other organizations that are out there that maybe aren't even in South Carolina, we have a lot of service members because of the bases that are transitioning out and we serve them and they might not may not be staying here.

Natalie: 26:09

So Kat, one of the things that we talked about was some initial thoughts on your programming, and then you felt like you had to take a step back. And that's where that wellness piece come in, comes in. So can we dive a little bit deeper into what that looks like? Because I think, you know, it's not just about skill building. So maybe a little bit divers dive deeper into that.

Unknown: 26:32

Well, and for what for well, health and well being to me, I think it particularly you know, the the bulk of the spouses that and partners we work with are women. And again, we work with men, but you know, as as women and families, whether you have children or not, you tend to be the hub. And when mom's Okay, or the wife's Okay, everybody else's okay? And we don't really take the time to pay attention. We're never intentional with just how am I doing on the whole, you know, we may be, you know, go to our dental appointments, or we may go to medical appointments. But well, being in health is so much bigger than that. It encompasses every part of who you are. And we just don't take the time to be intentional about that. So that's kind of the first piece that we try to do is just help people be aware of what how are you doing what's working for you, what isn't working for you, and the things that are not working for you? Where could that become friction in your life, you know, we do want you to pursue purpose, but when you're not well, or you've got pieces in your life that just aren't working. Let's take a look at those. We actually have something called a hole health profile tool that the CDC worked with vantagepoint foundation and helped us create this data point to where we take as a series of three surveys and these compiled down to break into the eight domains of health and well being. And we do use the VAs framework for that because it really works well. Okay. And then it gives you a snapshot. It's not prescriptive, but just a snapshot of where you're doing it that given time and eight different domains of well being and, and where there's some lower scores, it just gives you a springboard of okay, why would that be low? Why did I perceive this as a low area? And are there areas within that, that I can zero in on and figure out so that it's not causing me to stumble, or it's not an obstacle and really kind of getting my life going in the direction I want it to go? Because I think without purpose, it's very difficult to want to look at well being. And if you're not, well, it's very difficult to pursue purpose. So we try to put those together. It just makes sense that you can't have one without the other. So that's kind of became the hub of what we're doing, not only with the spouses, but the veterans as well. That's the angle we're taking with them as well, that we were drawn out. Don has used the example of as this, the spouse in the relationship here. So often the maypole, everything extends out from you, everybody, you stand still so everybody can move around you right. And we we realized that when we were leaning heavily into purpose, we have these families who have transitioned out and we've got a spouse and we're talking about you know, what, what's really purposeful for me, where do you want to and people talk about oh, find your purpose. What are you going to do next? And we recognize that when your purpose is I'm trying to get through the day. Do I have the object without choking you? Do I have the the shin guards and the apple slices and the what do I have? I am just trying to get to eight o'clock tonight, with everybody's homework done and everything like you. If you ask any mom, spouse partner, you know, like, what matters most to you is that everybody in my life is taken care of. Great, as cliche as it sounds, how do we strap on your own oxygen mask so that you can continue to be that maple, because at the maypole collapses is done. Now you're right, we're all in trouble. Now, how do we talk meaningfully and balanced about what it is to take care of yourself? And I'm not saying, you know, hey, let's train for a marathon.

Natalie: 30:42

My knees can't do it. Right?

Unknown: 30:44

I'm not No, I just walk though. Right? We laugh and I and I say, you know, just this particular time, in space in my life, when things kind of got really bad. And we were dealing with behaviors and things that you didn't understand, from both of us. And lots of unresolved issues that are just part of this life. I say, you know, I had started in therapy and started doing all these things. And, but I needed to move. I needed that, you know, like, I wanted the therapist to be like a doctor's appointment, there's a brain, there's a sap and the pill.

Natalie: 31:20

So like a true military person, like, have we gotten to the end yet or not, right?

Unknown: 31:24

We've got to go, we got to do, we're moving out. So my need to do something was like, Okay, I need a, I don't know what this mindfulness is, I don't know what this health and well being, I don't know what any of that mess is, of the magazines. I'm reading standing in the grocery store line. But I'm gonna start somewhere. And I started with y'all, this was basic, I'm gonna floss my teeth every night. And I'm gonna brush for those two minutes every night like that. It was that basic, right? I'm gonna go get myself a Sonicare toothbrush. And I'm gonna get the mid flat flat floss. And I'm going to give myself three whole minutes every night that I am not going to let go up. My dentist loves me, by the way.

Natalie: 32:07

Well, you do have great teeth in case, get on Zoom to see cat's teeth, thank you.

Unknown: 32:13

But that was kind of like somebody that understands like, hey, that's, that's just as basic as you can get. I'm trying to remember to eat and to take a shower, and to not hurt anybody I love because all of them really tight. And having some of the understand that in the context of the military experience, you know? And then recognizing, okay, like Don, and I've said, these are our stories. What is the person that married the veteran? That doesn't understand? Wow, November's are really hard, not based on that Iraq deployment, or that Afghanistan? What does that what does that person go to have understanding? Well, they don't necessarily see the inception in the why, you know, we're at least I feel like when you're in it from the beginning, it's like, well, you can see how it unfolded. Right? Oh, it's, oh, it's March. All right. Now, now I get it.

Natalie: 33:09

Well, and it's exactly that exactly that I think, I think it's really important for folks to remember again, that while your spouse was in the military, and so were you. And that there, it was a significant for month for them, and to be mindful that it was a significant month for you. Because while they were going, you were staying, and you had change, and that and that is every time we as humans, we love change not. And so we like predictability and stability. And military does not offer that. They offer predictability and structure and policy and procedures. But you're moving, you're this You're that I mean, at least you're like well, at least every two years, we know we're going somewhere else. So that's kind of predictable. But I think about the loss that you have because you lost your spouse for a window of time. And then when they come back, you're like, Whoa, you're coming back into my routine. And you're asking me to change my routine that the kids and I had gotten down, Marcin, our younger sister wish she was here to be able to speak to that and how it was for her in the Air Force. That that change in routine

Unknown: 34:20

is hard. It is and the absolutely the assimilation with that is much harder than getting used to them being away. But you know, we've had the discussion before as well whether there's an element of grief almost that not only just for the physical loss of them being home, but then the grief of them coming back and not being quite exactly what left or the person you felt like you married to that's changed and it's morphed and some of it may come back some of them may not. But there's a level of of that kind of longing for what we had prior to this whole mess kicking off? So I

Natalie: 35:08

can totally relate to that before and then the after Ryan, your new normal and that you shifted your normal every time that how many times did you have to shift into a new normal, right? And you think about the stable

Unknown: 35:23

especially when kids were involved, you had to be the stable in the middle of all the unstable. And so always okay, you know, my laugh, I've told Kat this I got a Christmas card from my son a couple of years ago, he's in his 20s. And it just said to the one person in the family that hasn't worried us at one point or another.

Natalie: 35:44

Well, and that's that's I mean, but that's, that's a that's a mama. That's the That's, it is it is. And I hate to say it's a stereotypical role, but it is the stereotypical role that the women are like we are I love the Big Fat Greek Wedding where, you know, the husband is the head, but I am the neck. Yeah. And I and I turn the head.

Unknown: 36:05

Yes, right. Right, man, roll if I'm not there. That's right. Your head will roll if I'm not there.

Natalie: 36:13

Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna tell you, I feel like we've gotten a little bit to church today.

JJ: 36:17

I know, I have learned a lot. And I feel like I need like that mental health and wellness, I could utilize their services. So that needs something in the civilian world for this? Well,

Natalie: 36:27

the whole health. You know, I think what got me was when you said, the whole health survey, and you all worked with the VA and you it lines up with the eight areas of wellness. And I'm like, I felt like I need to get my hands on that I worked at 25 years in the mental health field. And I'm like, This is what sounds like a lot of caregivers could benefit. I know some of its going to lean towards the military and things like that. But health and wellness is health and wellness. It's just what's the situation? And how do you modify the instrument a little teeny bit to say, this area or this area, but the general areas of overall health and wellness? How's it impacting home? You know, absolutely all that stuff. I think that is something that could be really beneficial. I'd like to get my hands on that done.

Unknown: 37:10

Maybe find one in your inbox.

JJ: 37:13

I love it when I haven't been.

Natalie: 37:16

That would be awesome. It just I just think that's really important. So because you're right, sometimes the first step to helping you is an awareness, like oh, man, and then you see it and you're like, Yeah,

Unknown: 37:31

right. We can get get so used to going through the day now. And just your day to day and you don't even take time to think about how different areas of your life are affecting the other areas. And everything's interconnected. Whether you want it to be or not. It's interconnected. And not paying attention. Things can start going south quickly. And we're not paying attention to what's happening and addressing it. Absolutely.

Natalie: 38:01

So does the does. My last question, Jay, I'm sorry. There was it's like it's like a regular podcast, because I'm like, I love them. I don't play favorites. So how long can individuals be connected with you? Is this like we're besties forever, or you are you know, it's intermittent, almost like therapy sometimes is intermittent. How's that work? You do

Unknown: 38:22

a six month continuum. Okay, and follow a little more organized for six months, but I still work with veterans and spouses. Right. You know, I started on in 2018. Working in this space and worse, I still get calls from people from years ago. So yes, technically a six month formal aspect, and then the informal is give us a call. Yeah, right. We're not going anywhere. So, yeah, gosh,

Natalie: 39:00

I just think about like, you know, cat, we talked about this. In our phone call like Jay, we, I remember when I called you and I was like, Oh my gosh, I talked this awesome woman named cat with vantage point. And like, we're besties now she had no, she had no clue.

JJ: 39:12

I finally got a hold of her.

Natalie: 39:15

I was on the road. And I was like she's never get it off the phone. And so she was lucky she had a group, but just about, you know, there's so many organizations out there. And yet there are alarmingly they're hard to find. If you think about it, it's not. And once you know about it, you're like, Hey, I've been seeing you 30 times I've passed by your place 30 times, but until you get this awareness and so, you know, hopefully anyone listening, please come on to our page and say, Hey, I know about this group in my state, we've got to look like in my state and this is and that way, Don and Kat get to use it as a resource and say, Hey, you're in North Dakota or you're in New York or you're here and you know, and then how do we I think there's such a great opportunity For these groups to start coming together, you know, I'd love to see the military be able to say, hey, we'd like to facilitate as part of our aftercare program. After as our post transition program, we're going to set up support groups, not only for veterans, but also for their spouses and partners, regardless of if you're in the caregiver support program or not. Because that's, there's qualifications for that. And you don't have to be in the caregiver support program to qualify to participate in vantagepoint. Is that correct? or No? Perfect. So everyone's very inclusive.

Unknown: 40:40

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And we had talked about kind of on our on our phone call, you know, one of the things that I have is that there, there are some wonderful organizations out there that are serving veterans, there are other nonprofits like us, they're doing great things with veterans. And I'm not going to I won't name names, because this is a wonderful organization here in this state. And I think they have branches in other states that are doing great things with veterans. And I was so excited because it was such good stuff. And I went to them. And I said, Wow, this is really amazing to do anything for partners of veterans. And their response was, Well, absolutely. Once a year, we have a picnic, and we asked the spouses to join us and bring a covered dish. Yeah, it was like, oh,

Natalie: 41:29

not so much. But thanks. That's what I was looking for. I'd love to cook and

Unknown: 41:36

do something after everybody and come home exhausted. Sounds like,

Natalie: 41:40

time. That's great. I'd love to be in support. Yeah, if, you know,

Unknown: 41:44

if you're a veteran service organization, you know, maybe have that conversation like, wow, is there like is, are the majority of veterans we're serving, married? And what would it look like to do something that we

JJ: 41:56

hope you know? Absolutely,

Natalie: 41:58

that feels right, let's serve the whole unit. Everybody understands the unit, the military. So

Unknown: 42:04

we say, you know, you hear people all the time and you probably saw this, I think I sent you a clip. And it's one of my things I say all the time, and you hear we love our military families and their families. We love our veterans and their families. And I think people really mean it. But what is and their families mean? What's the action there?

Natalie: 42:21

Huh? I like that. We went to church today on this one. Felt like an educational one. We're just having fun. I love this. Be friends with Dom gonna come and hang out with Don and Kat down in South Carolina. Absolutely. Remember, Virginia is for lovers and JJ is down in the key salvo she's got a better she's got a better gig. She's on the water. So you might want to you might technically want to go visit her. I got some mountains, though. So we got backs. And so for sure. Thank you so much for coming and sharing more about Vantage Point Foundation. I'm so blessed that you guys were able to be a part of this. And we'll have more information about how you can get in touch with these ladies in the show notes is vantagepoint foundation.org. And go on and definitely check out their website. And then again, here's our ask, we didn't ask this from anybody else. If you have other organizations that are like vantage point or other military supports that you want to throw in, feel free to email them to us or put them in when we're posting this in on our social medias. We would love that.

Unknown: 43:24

Thank you so much.

JJ: 43:25

Thank you guys so much.

Unknown: 43:27

Thank you for bringing the awareness. We appreciate

Natalie: 43:29

you. Absolutely. Thanks, guys until we talk again. Thank you for listening to our special series heroes caring for heroes. Please visit our website to learn more about our featured organizations supporting hero caregivers. Before you go, please take a moment to leave us a review and tell your friends about the confessions podcast. Make sure you connect with us on your favorite social media site to stay up to date on all things caregiving. And of course, you will find a video recording of our episodes on the confessions website and our YouTube Channel. We'll see you next time when we confess again